Warlock of Omaha

Warlock of Omaha By Hemaccabe Chapter 3: This Way Lies Madness

I know I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive. Sometimes it's a strength. I can focus and work on problems with an intensity I know many can't match. Mostly, it's a problem. I know it's part of why I'm not as empathic as most people. I watch "Big Bang Theory," even though I feel like it's more mocking to the geeks and nerds than sympathetic, because the character of Sheldon is a gift. I don't much like Sheldon. He's selfish and self-centered. Being OC isn't an excuse for everything. I see too much of myself in Sheldon sometimes. He makes a good cautionary tale.

On my grounds, I have a garage. From the main house, one has to walk down a short hallway from a door near the kitchen to get to it. It's a pretty big garage. It holds several vehicles, a motorcycle and a mid-size RV I use for some field trips. Not to mention an extensive fab, repair and re-build space. I park my half-ton Dodge Pickup in there, the girls' Subaru, a cool custom Jeep Wrangler pickup, a Nissan GTR and an Infiniti FX 60 among other things. There's also a Nissan Juke I have spent way too much time on.

Above the door near the kitchen there's a sign that reads, "This Way Lies Madness." The girls all have different explanations of what that means.

The sign really is a warning to me. I've spent the years since the White Man's wakeup call working to make myself a tougher nut to crack. If something out there wants to try and eat me or dominate me or worse, my best and only defense is to make myself so nasty that it's not worth it. That means making myself as strong as I can be. Strength can mean many things, but it certainly includes physical power. One obvious sphere of physical power is to have a powerful vehicle. If I ever get into a situation where I have to fight from my vehicle, the tougher my vehicle is, the better chance I have to survive.

The thing is, vehicles are one of many spheres. And like many of them, it's deep. There are so many different makes and models of vehicles in the world and that's just the top of the ocean. Beneath the stock models is a completely bottomless ocean of parts and modifications. If one goes to the SEMA show in Las Vegas, and I have, several times, one will see thousands of booths, each with entire catalogs of parts. It could take years to review just one show, and they're only there for a few days and one only has so much time between trying to seduce booth girls. So far, my record is six.

Further, I only have so much time. I sleep about nine hours a day. My waking hours include basic hygiene, eating, playing, etc. There is only so much time during the day. That's why time is the coin of my realm. I have plenty of money and could easily get more if I needed it. I have physical companionship, pleasant surroundings, etc. The limiting factor in what I can achieve and do is time.

I'm also still a bit irrational. I should trade the Dodge for a heavier vehicle to pull a trailer rather than an RV and drive the Jeep around. Instead, I find myself trading the Dodge every few years and when it's time to jump into something and go do an errand? I take the Dodge.

So how do I handle it? I buy a top of the line Dodge pickup and take it to a local place I like. Jed, the owner, is deep in the local street racer culture and spends his life knowing the ins and outs of what's available. The truck gets a cold air intake, dual turbos, a supercharger and some other knick knacks under the hood. Underneath she gets improved, but not crazy loud, exhaust, up rated suspension with air ride, bigger stronger wheels with bigger stronger run flat tires. Inside, she gets a very serious space frame cage, some nice seats that are still cushy but have five-point harnesses, and other safety considerations. Lastly, she gets ceramic door inserts, floor and roof and more resilient glass. She still looks and feels like a luxury truck, not a refugee from a road warrior movie, but she has some bottom if things get messy. It may sound like a lot of work, but trust me, there is a world of performance, including NOX, that does not go in. More importantly for me, Jed does it. I pay him fairly, including letting him keep all the brand-new parts he just took off my stock truck. I depend on Jed's advice as to what are the best parts to put in. Jed knows his work will be heavily inspected. Further, I'm a serious, educated, repeat, cash cow customer so I get good recommendations and work. It's not time free, but I offload a huge number of hours of research and building onto him and I get back a pretty cool truck.