DRUNK OFF HER

A Final Nail To This Coffin.

A letter to a ghost.
A letter to you.
And most probably to someone who will not read this.

Tell me how do we heal?
Nothing makes sense to me
is this real?
or is this reel?

What is this that I am so attached to?
to you?
or a memory of you?
Do you feel this too?

Hopefully there comes a day where she understands my words
Because the pain i've been pouring into this paper goes right over her head

I have never been able to understand the reason of loosing someone dear to you
I have only felt the feeling of loosing them
this feeling has been so familiar to me
I see it to be one of my own.

and the only thing i understand from this is that.
they are like sand
and this is the best description of it;

"We meet our lovers for the sake of losing them.
We only meet them to lose them
just like how we cling to the sand and it still slips.
And the harder we try to squeeze, the faster it slides away."

you were just some sand that i was trying so hard to cling onto

all the best parts of you slipped out
all I remain with are the memories of you
what a misery!

What can i ask for in this misery?
All I ask for is the touch of our lover
someone who can provide comfort to this injury
someone like her, someone with a touch of her.

To recover is what i need
without her is it possible indeed?
i now only hope for my mind to settle down
to not let it wander off

the only question that arises from this is that;

Why is it that the people we wish for always keep sailing far away from us?
are we like the ocean?
Or is my life the ocean itself?
if it is then
Will I ever turn into a piece of land?
Where I keep hope that
When I meet you once again
You wont sail away
Ever again
For I am your land
And to your search and journey
I am your end

and...if you ever come back then

I would decorate you with my poetry
But my love you only exist in my memories
You're a mirage
That i keep seeking out for on this barren land i call my heart
A part of the past
A part of time that can never come back.

But tonight i need to put an end to this
to the ghost of you
and to these memories that my mind is so much in fond of
An end to this misery
my misery
my misery to which i name you
and my misery to which i blame you
and
Maybe after this
I will never be DRUNK OFF HER.