user not found | b.e

thirty eight

billie.

"hey" she steps inside the room, her eyes scanning over me "you really are sick aren't you?"

harry stands up, putting the water down on my dresser. "I'd keep your distance, she kinda smells too"

harry winks at me and then suddenly im alone.

with billie.

in my bedroom.

a week ago, that would've been a fantasy.

now im laying with unwashed and unbrushed hair in a shirt I don't know last time I changed.

and I can't think straight because billie is in my room.

"so this is your little bedroom?" she walks around my room, fingers brushing along the few drawings ive half hazardly taped along my walls.

im feeling very exposed right now.

why didn't I clean my room?

"you going somewhere?" billie taps the suitcase on the floor with her foot which is open and full of clothes thrown everywhere.

"I never fully unpacked, didn't have time" I shrugged.

"but you had time to organise all these?" billie runs her finger along my neatly organised records.

"billie"

"yeah?" billie looks over at me.

"why are you here?"

"im done with needing space, it was stupid. just forget about it"

"wait what?" I sit up in bed "what is 'it'? I need to know what I did"

"you didn't do anything. it was just a misunderstanding"

"about me?" im still so confused. "if you're going to avoid all my questions I'd rather you just leave"

billie stares at me for too long, like she's thinking things over.

I stare back at her watching as she abruptly turns around and plucks out a record.

"where's your player?"

she walks over to my record player, pulling off the frank sinatra record id left in there a few days ago.

"billie"

"I wonder how loud this thing goes, my dad used to have one of these I swear- scoot over"

billie is making me feel dizzy and she's wanting to sit on her bed and we're not even together.

are we?

"but billie-"

"move over and don't sneeze on me"

I move.

she plops down next to me, stretching her legs out and crossing her ankles, making herself comfortable.

"you watching a movie?" billie glances towards my laptop which has my movie still paused on my screen.

I angrily slam it shut and huff. "im not watching a movie with you until you tell me why you stormed out of my house"

"im being completely real with you when I say it was a simple misunderstanding. and you did nothing wrong like I told you before, I just needed some time to think about things so lets just drop it, yeah?"

"no we can't just drop it'

"im sorry for making you worry but it was nothing I swear. now come on, I wanna watch a movie"

I just stare at her. "no"

"no?"

"no. I need to know what happened"

billie stares at me and then just smiles which makes me wanna hit her.

"maybe I feel like talking once we've watched a movie"

billie grabs open my laptop and it lights up with bambi on the screen and billie smiles.

"one of my favourites when I was a kid"

"same"

billie slides it so it's back to the beginning. "you don't mind watching it again, do you blossom?"

I narrow my eyes at the use of my nickname but it's bambi and I could never get tired of watching disney films.

we start watching the movie and I don't care that im still confused about what happened and that im still sick.

im just happy billie is here with me and she's enjoying being in m company.

I think.

I can't stop looking at her and she glances over to me, smiling.

"what?"

"nothing"

when the movie is halfway through, billie turns to look at me. "what were your plans this summer?"

"huh?"

"at work, I overheard you talking to kai telling them you had other plans this summer. what were those plans?"

shit.

"I don't remember"

billie clicks her teeth. "come clean about that and ill tell you the reason I left your house, deal?"

SHIT.

no way I am confessing to billie that ive been searching for another girl half the summer.

especially because I have no idea who this girl even is.

billie wouldn't understand.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

I can't tell billie about my secret.

I can't tell her about pirate.

"think hard" it's almost a plea coming from her. "you can trust me, tell me anything"

there is is, the T word.

I know she wants me to tell her.

I can't.

I don't remember falling asleep but when I wake up, it's dark outside and and billie is long gone.