user not found | b.e

twenty five

If I was worried about not dying from kisses before, my world has flipped upside down.

I got home right before curfew, but not before billie took me out to dinner and we walked on the beach and watched the sun setting.

we didn't really watch the sunset.

I was too busy feeling billies lips on mine, her hands on my body, her lips on my neck.

my lips look red and swollen and billie bruised my neck, not just once but three times.

she swore leaving these hickeys was an accident but I was pretty distracted as soon as her lips trailed down to my neck.

there was a lot of over the clothes touching and I had to stop myself from moaning when her hands trailed over my hips and boobs.

there was a lot of heavy breathing and I know billie stopped only because if she didn't we'd end up going to the point of no return.

and it wasn't time for that yet. 

"im gonna treasure tonight forever" billie kissed me once more before I rushed inside and ran upstairs, slamming my bedroom door shut. 

I heard harry singing in the shower and because he was obviously sleeping over tonight and I had the urge to run into his room (once he's dressed of course) and tell him all about billie and my date today. 

instead I lie in bed, airpods blasting my 'help me' playlist, which is all my gay music. 

the last time I had this playlist on repeat, I was falling for pirate months ago. 

my heart is beating hard through my chest and I can't even smell vanilla without my cheeks flushing. 

even when I think about billie I flush. 

like at work, finneas notices as much as kai does. 

"are you good sage, you look kind of sick?" finneas asks me. "yes, im sick in the worst way possible and I want you to know that I didn't plan for this to happen especially not this summer"

finneas furrows his brows and nods slowly, probably thinking I should like a crazy person. "I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about"

a customer came in so I had to focus my attention on them. 

and then twenty minutes after my encounter with finneas, billie pushed me into the closet in the break room and kissed the life out of me. 

she left without another word, leaving me breathing heavy, all hot and bothered. 

tuesday night, kai and art come over for dinner with harry and my grandma. 

I hope art is in on me using kai as an excuse to see billie in-front of my grandmother. 

I feel like im going to get caught and that's the last thing I ever want to happen. 

and I don't want to mess up because I love my grandma and I love kai and they love each other. 

and I know my grandma will be pissed if she knew he was lying to the both of them. 

my grandmother answers the door and I hear her introducing herself. 

I walk to the door and greet kai and art, leaving harry in the kitchen finishing making dinner. 

"so lovely to finally meet you art, kai really hit the jackpot with you didn't they?" 

art flashes a smile and I can't make it obvious that ive never met them before because my grandma thinks im close with the both of them. 

kai laughs and wraps their arm around their girlfriends waist, pulling them close. 

art really is more beautiful in person what the fuck. 

harry comes in the hall and introduces himself and kai looks at him like he's butt ass naked.

is art seeing this right now? 

horn dog.

regardless food is ready so we go into the dining room and eat the amazing tomato pasta dish and everyone is talking and laughing and im actually having a really good time. 

harry is spewing the worst dad jokes but kai and art seem to be enjoying them so I laugh along even though ive heard them too many times.

we spend the rest of the night listening to music in the garden, harry lighting a fire to keep us warm. 

kai and art start dancing along to the music, harry pulling up my grandma and then they all switch places, pulling me up so we're all dancing together.

it's silly and fun and I don't care that im a terrible dancer when I see harry's moves.

kai is playing cards with harry and my grandma and I sit with art, out feet dipped in the other end of the pool. 

art tells me about their relationship with kai, talks to me about her job as a tattoo artist and shows me photos of some of the work she does. 

they're talented as hell. 

"I'd love to get a tattoo but there's no way I would survive if my grandma found out"

"you could always get a tattoo where it's hidden"

art and I lie back, our feet still in the water and we talk and talk about nothing and everything until kai comes over letting art know they need to go home. 

I hug them both goodbye and I help my grandma and harry clear up and I know they're gonna both be invited back a lot. 

I genuinely had a good night although there was something missing.

someone missing.