As me and the boys entered the house we nervously went to my room to make myself mentally prepared to talk to Chan
I prepared myself and kept taking deep breathes
I knocked on chans office as we heard a come in. We entered and saw him sitting on his chair doing yk work. I took a deep breath and started talking
"Chan, we need to talk about something really really important that I have kept a secret from you.."
"And what is it?" I took a seat and my stomach felt like exploding from nervousness
"I'm..I'm pregnant. And it's not your, you know that." I said as I gulped when he gave no change of reaction
"So you're pregnant? And obviously it's not mine, but who's?" He said in a chill tone
"That's the thing, it's one of the bts members. But we don't plan on telling them about the baby since we all know what kinds of stuff they'd do to it. I just wanted to inform you that, and I want to raise it. With you."
"You want to raise this child with me?"
I nodded
"Well I have nothing against raising a child with you but.. I'm not ready. And I have been thinking about this but Ena.. we really need to break up, I've realized my feelings for you weren't serious and I just liked the idea of you. I'm sorry, but I will not raise a child with you. Especially when it's not mine."
His words felt like a knife constantly going in and out in my heart.
What am I gonna do? He's breaking up with me? He never really liked me?
"So, you're saying.. I never meant anything serious to you?"
"No, I'm sorry. You're nothing to me but just a friend and someone I'm ordered to protect."
"The-then why did you save me? Why did you let yourself and your members get hurt because of me?"
"That's what I said. I must protect you and you're also my member. We do this for each other. Oh and, I have feelings for Jennie. I'm sorry. You can leave now cause I won't continue this conversation'
Felix and jisung were in total shock.
Without saying anything they dragged me away but minho stayed
After we left chans room, i knew minho would start creating trouble with Chan but since the walls were soundproof I couldn't hear anything
I felt so.. so tired and exhausted. All of it was too much for me to handle...
I wanted to scream and shout so bad But I tried my best to keep it in
Seungmin, changbin and hyunjin walked by and my breathing got heavier as I cringed onto the wall for support
"Hey hey, what's wrong?" Seungmin asked
"Ena, calm down. Breath properly.." jisubg said as he took my hand and tried comforting me. I tried my best not to push him away and just pack my things things leave to idek where
"She's hyperventilating, shit started happening I'll explain later" Felix said
I tried saying 'leave' but my voice was too weak and shaky so I just mumbled something they didn't understand
"Ena, did you say something?"
My eyes were filled with tears that were too afraid to fall
Minho got out of chans room and so did he
Minho rushed to me and held me
"Ena, Ena? What's wrong? Can you say something? Jisung what happened to her?" Minho asked while holding my hand and my face
"I- I don't know, she hyperventilating. And she keeps mumbling something we don't understand"
"L-le..Ave.. lea..v-e..FUCKING LEAVE" I yelled at the top of my lungs as anisa, jeongin and surprising Jennie rushed here
I stood up and pushed anyone that was in my way
I wanted to run and leave my I was afraid to even try because I felt like falling
I couldn't handle it anymore, with all my strength I punched the wall and it made a big Crack with my blood on it
I probably broke my hand but I didn't care, the next thing was gonna be my skull
I finally started running to my room as minho, jisung and Felix started running after me and the others just stood there in shock and terror
"Seungmin go after her! She's pregnant make sure she's fine!"
That was the last thing I heard before I entered my room and tried locking the door, chan said it
The 4 was obviously strong enough to open the door and hold me
I had absolutely no control anymore. I was having a panic attack.
Jisung was calling the ambulance while minho and the other 2 tried calming me
The others cake in my room and tried stopping me for doing anything worse but failed
I quickly got myself out of minhso arms and ran to the wall
I banged my head really hard and there was blood on the wall
I started kicking and punching the wall and anyone who tried getting close to me
After that I stopped when nobody tried anything
I looked at minho with eyes full of tears filled that were about to fall
Suddenly I felt down to the ground. I didn't pass out or anything I just fell. My whole body was at its weakest
"Minho.. why is everything bad happening to me? Huh?"
I say while my tears finally fell
"Am I a bad person? Am I a bad friend? A bad girlfriend? A bad sister? A bad member? Am I weak? Did I slow down the group?"
Nobody said anything, they know I'd go nuts if I heard someone trying to comfort me
Suddenly I heard sirens. Jisung and changbin went outside
I held on the minho
"Please, I don't want to go.. I'm not sick.. I'm not a psycho.. I'm not ill.."
"Ena, you're have to. And please..stop, you're hurting yourself and the baby.."
Suddenly some ambulance people came in and held me
I went insane again and started screaming at them
"Minho, don't leave me.. please, I don't want to go.."
"Dont worry, I'll come with you. I'm not leaving you okay..?"
Minho was the only person rn that made me actually feel loved, safe and happy
I want to raise the child with him.
