Joffry

Chapter 6 | The Date

Älice Izkèül; Jirärd's twin sister and local goth girl. She was practically the complete opposite of Jirärd in every way possible. The only thing she had in common with her twin brother was the fact that she absolutely adored Joffry; like, she had a huge crush on him. That leads us to what happens on this day..

Tuesday, the boys were waking up for school after a long night of homework. They all got cleaned up and dressed for their usual routine. They all walked to school together, and unknowingly Älice was following about 10 yards behind them (creepy). They went through their normal day at school, and it ended like usual. But when Joffry went to his locker, he found a letter.

The letter read:
Lèüwèndtükäüs Joffry,

Jüñé äüs èkstrümlèi häüt ündt kèül. Mèi äüs lèüwèkäüsünsèidt jüñé. Mèi äüs nèin èibèltü rèiçüwvè jüñé ünsèidtnèin mèi käpfdt. Sümplèi, ÄÄÄÄÄ MÈI LÈÜWÈKÄÜS ÈKSTRÜMLÈI JÜÑÉ!!!

Lèüwèkäüs,
Älice Izkèül

"Ew," Joffry said as he threw the letter into the trash. I'm not translating that letter because it was too horny.

Älice watched him throw it away, and was pissed off at this sight. She decided to confront Joffry herself.

"Hey, um, Joffry?"

"What?" Joffry gave her a death stare.

"Um, you- ah," she was stumbling over her words, "would you like to- ah- go on a d-date with me?"

"I don't give a shit."

"So, wait, is that a yes?"

"Sure, whatever."

"Awesome! Come with me to my house, I want you to meet my father!"

"Uhh, ok?" Joffry regretted his decision.

Jirärd walked up to them, "yo! Sis! You know Joffry!?"

"Oh, yeah, I do. He's taking me on a date!"

Once Jirärd heard this, he very obviously grew jealous. "Oh, is that so? Well, lucky you." Jirärd decided to escort them to his and Älice's house. Once they arrived at the Izkèül residence, they were greeted by a tall, skinny, and pale man wearing glasses thicker than Stan's skull and an overbite that seemingly extended to China. That man happened to be Jirärd and Älice's father, Nächtschtofdt Izkèül. He was mowing the lawn when they got there. He noticed them after a few minutes and waved. He turned his mower off and walked over to them.

"Hey guysh!" He spoke with a lisp, "Jirärd, Älish, who'sh your friend?"

"Hey, dad" Jirärd began, "This is Joffry. My OC."

"I'm sorry, your what now??" Joffry chimed in.

"He's also kinda like Älice's boyfriend at the moment.." Jirärd seemed annoyed as he was saying this. "I kinda wish he was mine.."

"What was that?"

"Ah! Ah! N-nothing!" Jirärd began to nervously laugh.

They all proceeded to go inside of the house for dinner. Once they got in, Joffry noticed a dog dragging its ass across the floor. He tried to forget that he witnessed that, but he was unable to because the very next room was full of dogs dragging their asses across the floor. This was when Joffry realized that this was a horrible idea.

"So, Nächtschtofdt, what do you do for a living?" Joffry asked attempting to make small talk.

"Oh, I shell NFTsh for a living."

"Jesus, why the fuck am I still here.."

"Don't ask me bruh!" Jesus answered from above, "you gotta get yoself outta this mah dude."

"AGHHHH!!" Joffry turned to his "date" and said "'ey"

"Rifjdjsjfjdjs hehehehe hi" Älice said nervously.

"There's something on your shirt"

Älice looked down and Joffry proceeded to smack her on the back of the head as hard as he could.

"HA! Dumbass."

"Ehhh, meanie!" Älice exclaimed.

Joffry had officially succeeded in his goal, he got Älice to hate him. He was a bit disappointed that is was that easy, but he was happy nonetheless. In conclusion, the date was a complete failure; but to Joffry it was very successful. He then went home to Uncle Dave and walked in on him drinking a beer and scratching his nuts while watching Sesame Street. Joffry went to bed and had dreams of Uncle Dave wearing a pink speedo that said 'juicy' on the butt..