Fire and Ice

•50•

Bucky lay back in the grass, eyes closed, letting the sun wash over him. He was half joking about that nap, but now it doesn't sound like such a bad idea. What else can he do out here? He's the least dangerous when he's asleep, and coming out of cryo always made him tired, he remembers that much. And he didn't get much sleep last night.

After they both turned in from dinner, he lay there for at least two hours, half tired and thinking too much to sleep. About how dangerous this was, how he shouldn't be this close to her with his brain still not his own, wondering why he still wants to be anyway. Wouldn't it be better to hurt her feelings than to hurt her?

His mind swam with memories, not only of his time as the Winter Soldier, but of the memories he's held on to. It's more than he ever thought he would get back. And still he wishes for more. For everything. Every moment, good and bad. Everything short of being able to see his family again and grow old with them. He misses them.

He wonders if Kate misses her family. That was the first time she mentioned her parents. He wonders where they are, when she last saw them. If she has siblings. Probably not, since she likely would've mentioned it.

She merely laughed at him and walked off, probably going to explore, like she said. He didn't open his eyes to watch her go. Part of him wishes she would keep her distance. At least until his brain is his own. But all of him knows she won't listen to him on that front. Like she thinks she's invincible or something. Or she trusts him even though she shouldn't. He sighs softly. She stresses him out.

~_~_~_~_~

Footsteps awaken him from a light doze, the sound less startling than the fact that he managed to fall asleep at all with the sun right in his eyes. These are louder footsteps, casually paced, not made by a particularly large person. Non-threatening, not spying. He opens one eye, spotting red hair practically glowing in the sun. He was right; it's Kate. "Find something interesting?" he asks.

"They have white rhinoceros. And they are so beautiful. They're huge and domesticated," she says. "Can you imagine how hard it would be to domesticate a rhino?"

Bucky sits up, brows furrowed a bit. "Well, maybe they're more tamed than domesticated."

"No, they're in pens. Big pens, and I saw some people working on armor for them. Rhino armor. Do you realize how insane that is?"

"How many rhinos were there?"

"I saw at least a dozen, but there has to be more. I didn't go very far or talk to anybody. Gosh, I wanted to talk to everybody."

He chuckles, watching her eyes light up just talking about it all. This is that excitement he should've appreciated the first time he saw it. He sure does now. "Why didn't you?"

"Well, everybody seemed so busy, and when I got kind of close some kids gave me weird looks and I didn't want to bother anybody. Also, we're technically not supposed to be here, so..."

Bucky sighs. "That's true."

Kate looks around for a moment, seeming to take everything in as if seeing it for the first time again. Her eyes hold pure amazement, pure wonder at this place. Bucky wishes he could feel that, too, as strongly as she could. He's so busy worrying about his brain, in the back of his mind. It's always there.

"Well, I guess it's time for lunch," Kate says, turning back to him. She doesn't quite meet his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Oh, I don't care. Anything is fine." He truly didn't know what to make of the food sent with him. He hasn't been awake long enough to really try anything new here, save from what they ate for dinner last night. Kate seemed to know what she was doing there, and he did, too, to a degree. It was just stew. He'd made stew. He'd had to cook for himself while in hiding, he'd learned some things. Was it always good? Absolutely not. But he'd never had dishes like this before. He doesn't even know what they're called. Kate does, though, so he'll leave these decisions up to her. He's not picky, besides.