IN MY BROTHER'S SHADOW

Chapter 24

So some people might have forgotten. $oo Marcus fainted because he hasn't been eating and Sam and Walter are having relationship problems.
Sorry the English is soo bad.

  Marcus's POV.

It was the next day and I sat on Sam's couch waiting for Emily who said she'd take me home after she did somethings. I was wearing Sam's shirt which was how many sizes bigger but it still somehow fit me and Emily's jeans. Her jeans were a little tight but Sam's own just kept falling. I clutched on something for someone who did nothing but hurt me but somehow I seem to never learn. At the time my mind was too preoccupied with Sam and Walter but now I think back at the moment and I feel the pain again.. The image of Cole sobbing while Ethan comforted him. Cole was on his lap and just that image made me fe like someone stabbed my chest. Right now I wish I wasn't so preoccupied then because everything I should have felt then was overflowing rapidly. All the heartbreak, betrayal and pain came overflowing my mind. I clutched the box tighter as I imagined myself in that position then frowned. I am pathetic. "You ready?". Emily asked pulling me out of my thoughts. "Yeah". I did dread coming home especially since my mom was angry at me. You know it's funny, she only noticed me because of Cole. She didn't come to meet me when she came back. She didn't even care I was in this state, did she even notice,she just remembered me so she could scream at me for not making Cole the center of my attention. I entered Emily's car, set the GPS and then we drove to my house. A part of me was afraid another angry, the other amused and the rest depressed. Afraid, of what might my parents would do, my mom would definitely tell my dad. Angry, at everyone that's supposed to be close to me. They were all characters in this perfect love story between Ethan and Cole and I was just this antagonist who was madly in love with Ethan and jealous of Cole, the person who would try to ruin there perfect relationship and perfect love story but would fail, but I wasn't like that in reality.  I know Cole's world is perfect and everyone loves him and  I'm supposed to be one of his admirers but sometimes I wonder if they're actually my real family. I mean they literally ignore my existence except when it comes to Cole. Amused, at how pathetic I was, I'm still wondering how I manage to lose my breath when ever I'm around him after all he's done and Depressed, because I don't even know who I am anymore just this sad pathetic young man who is lonely. The only people I had were Ruth, Simon, Walter,Sam and Emily. If you think about it I'm not really lonely  but sometimes you just want your family's love. I look at the way they all act around each other and can't help but wonder, Am I doing something wrong?,
Am I a defect?, Is something horribly wrong with me, Is it me? maybe I do really deserve these cuts on my skin, I'm doing something wrong aren't I,  that's why I'm missing out on my parents love and my brother, even the friendship of what used to be my closest friend. I would love to ask them, what I was doing wrong but they would never notice me because I'm forever stuck in my brother's shadow.    "Were here". Emily said facing me. I noticed she had an inkling something was wrong with me. Her facial expression had worry all over it ,I would tell her later but right now I  had to go home, if it's even worth that name.