IN MY BROTHER'S SHADOW

Chapter 40.

I am at a point in my life where I am struggling with a lot of things Anda a solution or possibility of me escaping it is thin, for those who keep reading thank you.

Ethans POV

I sat on my bed with a million thoughts racing through my mind and yet one was most prominent.

I was feeling a lot of emotions at once and I didn't like it. My initial state is confused because I was battling with myself in my head over a bunch of conclusions.

I didn't miss him, I know that and I don't love him not in the slightest but I wanted him close, I wanted him here.

This genuinely got me thinking and this has been going on for days, I dont value our friendship whatever it was is now dead.

There is nothing about him I miss, but I can't help but crave the smell of rosewood with a side of musk and a fade of clementine.

He smells like that, it was driving me crazy, I was hungry for his scent, and I missed hearing how he talked and my eyes yearned to see him I was obsessed with the urge for his presence.

I didnt miss him, nothing about him but I wanted him here.

I was sexually frustrated thats it.

Thats the only reasonable explanation.

I stared at the ceiling of my wall and it was gray just like his eyes.

A lot was happening in my head and I hated the way I felt thanks to that.

I hated the way I was so eager just so I can-

I was interrupted by the loud alert on my phone, someone was calling me.

I picked up my phone and stared at my phone in annoyance.

It was Mrs. Carson

Why is she calling me?

I picked up the phone to hear the sound of crying.

Mrs.Carson.

Ethan. She gasped.

What's wrong?

It's Cole he he tried to kill himself.

She said through hiccups.

I was shocked why would he do that? I thought to myself.

Ill be right there. I said then cut the call.

I immediately carried my car keys and headed for the hospital.

I drove in my car with the windows open hoping the sound of the road and wind would distract me from my overwhelming thoughts.

I didnt miss him that was for sure I really didnt but I wanted to see his smile, I also wanted to feel his tight hands around my torso when we were done with sex and his addicting breathing patterns.

Damn this sexual frustration, damn those gray clouds. I thought to myself as I stared at the cloudless sky.

So dark yet so transparent, so welcoming, gentle and soft gray clouds.