A Self Absorbed Telling of Life

April 28

I don't want to go on a whole other long spiel about my day today, so i'll just list some highlights.

• I only have a few more days of legit dance class this year.
• We had a substitute in science
• My ELA teacher was in a good mood. I got a B on a quiz though.
• Lunch was stressful
• I feel decent on an algebra quiz everyone feels shitty about, which makes me second guess myself.
• Someone pulled the fire alarm (allegedly)
• I found out my US History teacher is leaving the school and almost cried in class. (She was the only teacher who cared when i went to the nurse for 2 days straight due to stress. So yeah, gonna miss her.)
• It's almost Friday!

Today, I finally started to feel like I'm ready to take on high school. I've been petrified since my first day of eighth grade, but i've just been saying stuff like "excitement and nervousness come from the same place." Which didn't help too much, but I think that i'm so done with middle school that I can't wait to be a freshman. I started working on my audition resume today for theater today too, which probably fueled my want to leave. Also, I'm not too sad about leaving the seventh graders. There's only three that i'll actually miss going to school with and seeing everyday.

What else is there to talk about? I feel like i'm doing so much and nothing at the same time at the moment. I keep getting distracted trying to write this though.

I thought about the afterlife a lot today. And church. And how i don't go, and don't believe in much. Realistically speaking, our bodies decay into the ground or get cremated or whatever and whatever is in our brain goes with it. That's what i feel and think about afterlife, that it's not really a thing, but what i'm more confused about is the concept of soul. Which I think I like, but I also hate it at the same time. I have the tendency to only take the good with certain things and ignore the bad, which is heavily shown with my thoughts on this. Part of me thinks that the concepts of souls are a bit cruel, and puts people under certain pressure that can cause issues in the long run. Now, i'm not saying "DON'T HAVE ANY MORALS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR HYPOTHETICAL SOUL AND WHERE IT MIGHT GO AFTER WE ROT AND DIE." I'm saying something more along the lines of, "Maybe we shouldn't teach our kids that every little thing we do is watched and will be punished one day for every single thing if we don't follow some list of hypothetical words." But also, I'm not one to judge parenting or child development. Now, since i've spewed my anger, I might as well list a few things I like about this whole thing. I do like the thought of our souls finally being free after death, and being in a "better place" (wherever that is.) It gives some comfort, not really to me, but it helps a lot of people I know. And that makes me a bit more happy about our society and how magically advanced our brains have become.

Today, I finally finished working on everything I needed to for competition. (Not to say I won't rehearse.) This was a big relief, now, the only thing I'm stressed about is waking up at 6:15 on a Saturday. And not having an appetite for the whole tournament.

I went shopping for my friend's birthdays after school. Got to eat some Chick-Fil-A, which is supposedly the "healthiest" fast food. I drank a sprite though, which kinda ruined all good thoughts about dinner. I've been trying to cut down on soda lately, and, when I do drink it, I try to get a diet. I'm not entirely sure why I think i should do this, but I think I feel guilty for hindering my whole weight lifting process by spraining my ankle. Speaking of, once my dad gets back from his business trip, I need to get back to our garage gym. I just feel significantly weaker, and summer is literally in three weeks.

I also went to Costco today. That was a mess. A boring old mess.

I got home and went to my friend's house. We worked on some theater stuff, us and her sister ranted about fan fictions and other stuff. I ended up getting home and ready to settle down at 9:30. Without feeling tired, surprisingly.

I also thought a lot about British slang today, and thought it would be funny if i included some of them in my vocabulary. Phrases like "Piss off" and "Wanker" make me giggle.

I'm gonna start rambling at this point, but it's okay, since this is my diary.

Decedents the musical is SO STUPID. I never enjoyed any of the songs, i didn't enjoy the movies (besides Cameron Boyce), and I certainly don't enjoy the characters and writing. If people wanted to do a musical about rebellious children for a high school, MATILDA IS SUCH A GOOD CHOICE. A little challenging, albeit, but still, It's most likely going to be good no matter what. Just based on uniqueness of it all. Also, in my opinion, high schools should not be doing The Lighting Thief musical. I know the book tells the story of young teenagers, but the actors in the musical are LITERALLY ADULTS. And I highly doubt that anyone has the amount of talent to accomplish TLT. (No offense to the musical, I absolutely love it, just, don't let a high school do it, same with Heathers, but i'm not getting into that one right now. If I did we would be here for hours.)

I'm almost at my 1000 word goal for tonight! So this paragraph is most likely going to help me accomplish it. Yup. That last sentence literally put it at 1K words, which means it's my cue to leave and get ready for bed. Goodnight! I don't know if there'll be a full entry tomorrow, I'm pretty busy, and when I get home I'll most likely pass tf out.

Alright i'm gonna go. Peace.
-Hailey, 14

OH ALSO, the song of the day is:
"It's called: Freefall" by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
Lyric:
"Too busy saving everyone else, to save yourself. And you don't want no help. Oh well."

bye!