Never Ending (sighmike)

Day 75

3:34 Monday May 25

 The fight on friday ended when michael and i walked back into his house, and fell asleep in his bed murmuring to each other about the things we like about one another. the things he listed to me made me smile, and i finally knew that he was telling the truth. i have seen underneath his skin now, and i am full of joy. i saw that he really does need me. i will not take his beautiful smile for granted anymore, and i wish to love him forever. now that i know he loves me this much, i have realized that i too feel the same love he has for me. our relationship has so far been short, only almost three months. many people would frown upon us at our talk of love for being together for such short time, but michael and i both knew that the love we spoke on is true, and we will never part from each other.

 Today, we walked to my house. we were sitting in my room. giggling with each other, stealing kisses while we ate a snack and caught up on some studying. we heard my front door open, and my mothers heals walking up the wooden stairs of our house. she knocked on my door, and i told her she could come in. michael and i were sitting on my bed across from each other, and my mother smiled at him, then her eyes turned away from him and looked around my room. it seemed as if she was trying to think of something to say, but did not know how.

 "Why are you home early from work?" a spark of interest arose inside me, "is everything alright?" i finished my questions. she seemed distant, then asked if michael could leave. i asked her why he had to leave, but michael patted my knee and told me it was fine, "Its fine claire, i will pick you up in the morning," he kissed my cheek, grabbed his coat and walked out of room after telling my mother to have a good night. 

 The front door closed, and i stood up off of my bed to watch him walk away towards his home. "I'm sorry for making him leave, i just had to talk to you privately and did not want him here when your father got home," she said, "he is coming home with a few other people," i turned and looked her in the eyes, and saw them turning red, "he is bringing a few of his friends to help us with some paperwork," i stared at her, and confusion was the only thing buzzing through my mind. "He doesn't love us anymore," she whispered under her breath. a divorce. my father wants to get a divorce. was it because of me? it had to be. both of my parents were happy before all of my trouble that happened. 

 Out the window, i saw my fathers car pull into the driveway, and two other men came out with him. they were the same men that helped us with randy hurt me. "You do not have to come down and discuss everything with us, finish your homework then get an early rest alright honey?" i nodded my head at her, and sat back onto my bed. she left my room. i sat a lone of the white sheets of my bed with a saddened expression on my face. my family was falling apart, because of me. i heard their voices downstairs, and did not want to hear any of what they were saying. i stood up and closed my door. i walked back to my bed, and beside it i saw michaels backpack. he sometimes left his bag here, because he was forgetful, but then i remembered that one time he left it here with a small note beside it telling me to open a pocket in his bag. i smiled at the memory of opening it and a necklace being in the pocket, then i brought my hand to touch the chain of it that was around my neck.

 I picked up the bag from the ground, and a small piece of paper fell from it. i smiled, and recovered it from going under my bed, and flipped it over to see what the sloppy handwriting read. it told me to look in the part of the bag where all the school books go. i opened his backpack and looked inside to see his worn out journal sitting in the bottom with a yellow sticky note on it saying "for you, Claire" i was shocked. i had not seen his journal since the day in his room a while back. i flipped through the pages to see that it was now full, with no pages left to write on. i fully opened it to the first page again. the same doodles overlapping each other were still there telling me that it was indeed the same journal as before. i re-read the first poem, then flipped the page again to the second poem next to the drawing of the eye that he told me was mine.

 Then i flipped to the next page. an outline of a girl was on it. she had long brown hair, and the only thing that was on her face was the eyebrows. it was a rough sketch, and it seemed that he had not yet finished it. i looked to the other page next to it, and it was another short writing.

she was here again / sitting a lone / looked different than everyone around her / a throb of light seemed to surround her whenever he looked at her / he felt like a car crash / whenever he looked at her / she had an affect on him / he tried to draw her / but could not draw someone as perfect as her

 I read the poem over and over again. i flipped to the next page, and this time there was no drawing on the first page. it was another poem.

he wrote lines about her / romantic poetry / he looked around / confused / he looked around / afraid / what would he do if he had no one to go to / he wondered what it would be like to talk to her / he thought of what he would say / but for now / he wrote his words in the lines of this book

 I smiled at the lines of the small poems he wrote. i looked out the window, saw that the sun was starting to set. i continued to read the poems, all of the journal, until i came to one that terrified me. i had to get to michael.

 I slipped my shoes on, and placed my ear on my door. i had to get out of the house without my parents knowing. they were still talking downstairs, and i had no idea how to escape the house that had been my getaway for the past months. i heard the voices downstairs continue to get louder, and i listened more closely to what was being said. "Claire obviously has some problems with fitting in at school, we know that from late last year," the man i knew as Mr. C said. i heard my mother sigh, "she is perfectly fine, the incident with randy just put her off edge," she tried to defend me. i opened my door a small amount to get a better way of hearing the conversation about me. "No. Claire has mental issues and needs real help, not that boy kissing her to sleep every night." my father retorted, "she has tried to take her life multiple times now. she is not okay."

 After hearing my father say those things. i grabbed michaels journal off my bed, and walked over to the only other way out of the house besides my front door. my window. i opened it all the way, and looked down. it was not a far distance, and i could grab onto the side of the house for support. i threw the journal to the ground, and i started climbing down. when i made my way to the ground i picked up the journal, and saw that something had fallen out of it. the wind blew and i almost lost my grip on what was on the ground, but i picked up to what looked like a picture, and turned it over to find michael and i smiling in the frame of the white border. i read the caption on the bottom, and then placed the picture back in the journal. I ran down the sidewalk towards michaels house, and saw that the sun was now disappearing behind the trees, and it was becoming darker outside. i turned the final sharp corner to his house, and i went to cross the street. it was only still light enough out that the car that was turning the corner did not have its headlights on. it was still just a little too windy for me to hear the car over the wind. i was a little too close to the person i needed most, to try to save them from them self.

That was the day Michael needed me the most.

-

alrughTYYuki ha h a h a h ahiadfha

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