The Names We Shed

Chapter 19- I'll be okay

Chapter Playlist- Demons- Imagine Dragons and VSQ, The Monster- Eminem and Rihanna, Confetti- Little Mix ft. Saweetie

"Is dinner done yet?" Valerie calls over.

Fenca leans over to check the simmering stew. "Yep!"

The girls head over and get big bowls of the stew, casting worried looks at Kalan, who is still asleep.

I grab the container of powder from Fenca and hold the pouch underneath his nose.

Nothing happens.

"Come on Kalan wake up.." Panic edges its way into my voice.

"Is he not waking up?"

"No. He's not."

Fenca walks over, her face filled with concern.

"Let me see."

She tries to wake him with the herbs to no avail. The others join us, eating the elk as we all try to wake Kalan.

"Can you search his mind?"

I wouldn't do it, if I didn't feel like I had to.

"I'll try."

Normally when Kalan is asleep I can feel his dreams, and when he doesn't dream I can feel- him, in a way. Just a quiet presence of him in my mind.

I can't feel him.

Not the bond.

Not even his mind.

I push harder, looking for what must be there.

A cold stone wall blocks me out.

Kalan doesn't have the kind of training it takes to create a barrier like this.

I test it carefully, looking for the cracks or the flaws in it, but I don't find any.

I can sense the bond, it's ability to pull me through.

But I hesitate. Pulling back out of his mind.

"Someone is in his mind." I state.

Fenca pauses, holding a bucket of water over Kalan's head.

"Who?"

I pause. "The only person, other than myself, who is still living with the ability to seal off someone else's mind, is Duka."

"Are you sure?"

I nod. "He saw me do it when we were... together. I showed him a few tricks but he figured out the basics on his own.."

"Why would you show him anything?"

I glare at her. "It's not like I knew that I would be fighting him, and he saved me... when we first got together. Ever since then I always felt like I owed him a debt. It took a long time to get over that."

"You should probably help Kalan out there, but then I want you to explain how you could owe the dragon anything."

I place a hand on Kalan's shoulder and dive into his mind. This time I don't bother testing the walls or trying to be subtle. I burst through them, desperate to reach Kalan.

I'm standing in Kalan's mind, I can see Duka, he can't see me. It occurs to me that I am buried in Kalan's subconscious and that neither of them are aware of my presence. Kalan is crying. Duka is trying to get him to tell him where we are going and why.

"TELL ME!"

"NO!"

Tears pour down his face as Duka does one of the worst things imaginable, he starts to shatter Kalan's mind. I look around, it would seem Duka has gotten quite far into this process. I reach to my right, laying my hand on one of the cracks, and I heal it with a memory of me meeting Kalan, then I heal another crack with a memory of Kalan trying and failing at eating with chopsticks. Then another memory flows out, then another. I still have these memories, but now Kalan does too, so many of his are gone, especially the happy ones. I give him several of all of us and himself. Of us all laughing. Of all of us training. When I open my eyes, the cracks are almost completely healed. Kalan's tears have stopped which brings me more relief than I'm willing to admit. I push forward, making my presence known to Kalan and Duka.

Duka turns to face me, his face filled with confusion and then excitement. Which scares me more than he ever did.

"So glad to see you Gwyn."

"Lovely to see you too, Duka."

"What brings you here?"

"Well, I just thought I'd pop in. You know, see how Kalan's mind was doing."

"It's really great that you're here. Since your apprentice here, does not seem to know where you're going or why."

"And why, Duka would you need to know that?"

"So I can pick up the rest of you and bring you to see how I've killed poor Helen and Albert."

A wave of nausea rolls through me and I have to fight to keep my expression neutral.

"Is that so?"

"Let me show you."

He reaches up and we see Helen, strung up on a tree, her wings cut off and guts spilled out across the grass. To her right, is a pile of ash and bone. I have no doubt who that is. And I have even less when Duka shows me the burning of Albert.

"Is that all?"

It's a struggle not to care. Not to burn into Duka with the kind of fury only a Naga would survive and live to avenge.

"Why I thought you'd care about your friends and mentor."

"What can I say- humans always did call me a sociopath."

"I also remember them calling you a whore."

"And?"

"Are you?"

"You should know. After all, you deemed me high enough to sleep with you." I retort.

"A mistake. We all make them."

He walks over to me, and strokes the side of my face. "What about me was so hideous that you couldn't go out with me again?"

"Your soul." I state, staring right into his eyes.