"Alright," Gandalf said, "This is Theoden's brain as near as we can map it, Saurman is right here. He's impossible to get at without damaging the intervening tissue. The only way to reach him is via the arterial system."
"Will we be able to stay in contact with you, Gandalf, once we are inside?" I asked.
"You'll be on your own in there, Gimli. I'll know where you are since I'll be holding the spell," Gandalf said, "But I won't be able to contact you."
"How will you know when to bring us out?" Legolas asked
Gandalf looked uncertain and at that moment it looked like the whole plan was doomed to failure. "Is there any way to wake Theoden?" Aragorn asked.
"I can attempt to lessen Saruman's hold on his mind" Gandalf said, "But that will take much of my power. I'm afraid it will leave you with only 60 minutes to get in and defeat Saruman."
"Do it, Gandalf" Aragron said before looking around to find Eowyn "While I was travelling in the East I learned the different arts of inward awareness, I can teach Theoden to separate the spiritual and the physical and to look inside and become and observer of his selfhood."
"Oh God," Gandalf muttered "Not this again."
Gandalf cast a spell on Theoden while Legolas and I got the canoe ready. We stowed our weapons and secured them while Aragorn explained the ancient mysteries to Theoden. When everything was ready we set the canoe on the floor of Meduseld and Aragorn, Legolas and I sat inside it. Theoden's court gathered round to watch and we heard a collective gasp as Gandalf waved his staff and we began to shrink. We shrank down till the world around us changed dramatically, people appeared huge and then disappeared into the heights too vast to fully comprehend.
Suddenly, with a burst of magic we were transported inside Theoden.
***
"Theoden," Gandalf said cautiously "Did it work?"
"Are they in?" Thedoen asked "I can't feel anything." Just then Theoden looked thoughtful "Ah yes I think I can sense Aragron's outrage. They're moving through my bloodstream now. But wait, they're going down, I thought you said Saruman was in my brain?"
"He is" Gandalf replied "but they will have to build up speed and slingshot through the pancreas before making the ascent up to your brain."
"The pancreas!" Hama exclaimed "But aren't there pirates there?"
"Quiet now Hama! They've just passed my gall bladder." Theoden said "They're about to enter my pancreas. I can't tell what's happening, it's too insulated."
Gandalf nodded his head, "They've gone into the dark side of the gall bladder, you won't be able to communicate with them until they reach the other side. All we can do now is pray."
After a few nervous minutes Theoden sat up, "They're through!" he said "I can sense them better now. I can make sounds... Gimli appears elated.. he's singing.. I can just make it out..
I am the very model of a modern major Gonnhirrim
I've information vegetable, animal and mineral
I know the Kings of Erebor, and I quote the fights historical
From Azanulbizar to Gundabad in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters metelurgical
I understand extraction, both the simple and the leachable
About alloying theory I'm teeming with a lot 'o news
with many cheerful facts about the forging of the non-ferrous
There seems to be a disagreement. Aragorn has drawn his sword, and Legolas is trying to get between Aragorn and Gimli. It's very heated, I think Gimli has promised to never sing again and Aragorn has calmed slightly."
The crowd in Meduseld grew nervous. Time was ticking away and Gandalf was looking drained as Theoden provided the commentary.
"They've finally made it to the carotid" Theoden said "But oh God, my body has recognised them as intruders. The white blood cells are attacking them. They're paddling as fast as they can but the white cells are attacking in a pincer movement, I don't think they can get away."
The crowd was hushed and Eowyn stared intently as the hour-glass slowly drained.
"Wait" Theoden said "They have a chance! The white cells aren't sure what to do, on the right of the canoe they're trying to build up forces to overwhelm the intruders, but the cells to the left can't agree on strategy. One cell white cell wants to make straight for the canoe and end the threat while the other white cell proposes to combine their forces with the white cells to the right... It's too late, Gimli is directing the canoe to the right, Argaorn and Legolas are cutting up the white cells piecemeal. They've done it; they're through."
There were a few cheers but the overwhelming feeling of the crowd was one of relief.
"They've made it to my brain. I can sense Saruman now...only it's not Saruman.. this creature is different, black and red mottled skin, tall, clothed in black with a crown of horns protruding from its head"
Gandalf let out a sigh "It is as I feared, Saruman does not control your mind directly; He has created an aspect to slowly poison your senses. Into this creature Saruman has poured his cruetly, his malice and his will to dominate all life."
"They've grounded the canoe, the blood is only ankle deep here" Theoden said "Gimli has jumped out and is running for the Aspect. Aragorn and Legolas are dragging the canoe behind them. The Aspect is fleeing down a vein. Gimli is in hot persuit, he's almost there. Ahh.. a valve has closed between them. Aragorn and Legolas are trapped further down the vein. Gimli is pacing back and forth eager to fight. The valve is opening, the Aspect is fleeing further down, Gimli can't quite catch him. The Aspect has made it to a cell, Gimli has burst in after him but Aragorn and Legolas as still trapped in the vein and the valves are blocking their path."
"I can't hold the spell much longer" Gandalf said "How much time is left Eowyn?"
Eowyn looked at the sand trickling through the hourglass, "Only 3 minutes 26 seconds left." She said.
"Gimli is facing down the Aspect" Theoden cries "He's pulled out his axe. The Aspect is grinning, he's pulled out a quarterstaff. No! It's not a quarterstaff, the Aspect has unsheated one side of it to reveal a sword blade. Gimli is setting his feet ready to swing, the Aspect is unsheathing the other side, it's another sword blade. Gimli is shocked, he doesn't know what to do. The Aspect spins the blades in a whirl, it's all Gimli can do to defend. Aragorn and Legolas can see the fight through the transparent valves, they're through one valve but they can't reach the cell before another valve closes infront of them. Legolas is hammering at the valve but he can't break through.
Gimli swings wildly, the Aspect catches the blow on his blades but the force of the impact sends both their weapons flying. It's the Aspect that reacts first, delivering a flying kick to Gimli's head. Gimli is knocked to his back but the Aspect is down too. Gimli turns to Legolas and Aragorn he's crawling towards the valve, he's going to let them in, he's almost there, he's reaching out... Oh No! The Aspect out of nowhere with a steel chair. Gimli is down and the Aspect is taunting Aragorn and Legolas, he turns to find his sword. The Aspect is going to end this. But wait! Gimli is up. Somehow Gimli is back on his feet. The Aspect turns and Gimli catches him with a blow to the solar plexus, the Aspect is doubled over and Gimli goes for it...Arkenstone Stunner! I can't believe it. The Aspect is down and Gimli gathers his axe. He swings powerfully, a horizontal blow and oh my... As God is my witness he is broken in half."
"Only ten seconds left!" Eowyn shouts
"The valve has opened!" Theoden cheers "Legolas and Aragorn drag the canoe in. They all jump inside. Now Gandalf! Now!"
An exhausted Gandalf waves his staff and in the centre of Meduseld the canoe appears with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli sitting in it. The crowd cheer and Theoden embraces Eowyn and Gandalf, "Theo's back baby!"
