6th March III 3019
Dear Secret Diary,
It's been two days since the battle and Legolas still isn't talking to me. He's been riding on his own and any time I try to approach him, he rides off, or just ignores me. I know he's like that with almost everyone now but it still hurts.
We're travelling to Isengard and I usually ride with Legolas but now I can't. Instead I've just been sitting in our canoe in a wagon with some wounded soldiers. To pass the time they've been swapping stories and I'm grateful for the distraction. I decided to write down some of them here to help me pass the time. It's easier to talk to you, diary, than to be alone with my thoughts. So here is the first story that an old soldier told, he was terribly wounded in the battle by a blow to the face but I'll write the story down as he told it.
***
The First Story
The Knight' Tale
Whilsom, as olde stories tellen us ther was a man that highte William. Now William was oonly a squyer an his maister did dye afore theire tornament did ende wen on passe wold hav assured victori, so his frends dressede hym in his maisters armours and he did fyght in his maisters stede.
In theire desir for to hav richesse thei continued the iape an the squyer called hym self Ullrich and did entere in to moore tornaments.
At the next jouste Ullrich did discouer Jocelyn, a faire mayde, an Adhemar, a rivale in jouste an love.
Fyrst Ullrich up on hisse asse his sadel he dede to maiden jouste wente his ride. How evere this rival was a god doer, al of a knyght was fair an gent in bataille an in tornament; his name was sire Colvill. An thoughe god knyght Colvill could not ride Ullrich did yeve hym the honour of the passe.
In the fynall rounde Adhemar did scomfite Ullrich an Adhemar did vaunte, 'Yow hav been weien, yow hav been mesured and yow hav been founde wantynge.'
At the next tornament Ullrich did voue to winne for Jocelyn how evere she did requeste mostrance of love in los an Ullrich did losen for her fauour.
To London alle did trauaile for a fynall tornei. Ther Ullrich has hys synne displaint. But ther is twiste to this tale; Sire Colvill was moore than a god knyght he was actuelly prynce Edward in disgise an he did repaien the passe wyth roboracion of Williams hendelayk.
William did retorn to face Adhemar an thoughe Adhemar smote hym with the blade of a launce, an thoughe he bore this a-colee that he hath hadde, Ullrich did jorjusten Adhemar and did winne the tournei.
For now is William in al his wele lyvynge in blisse, richesse and in hele. Thus endeth the tale and Eru save al this fayre companye.
***
After the story we were silent for a time since Aragorn and Eomer were riding their horses beside our wagon and we listened on to their conversation.
Aragorn: You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking tales ever written in the history of Middle Earth is? The Children of Hurin.
Eomer: Oh, come on.
Aragorn: The Children of Hurin is fucking great. What is The Children of Hurin? You think it's a story about a man fighting dragons and killing orcs. It is a story about a man's struggle with his own mortality. It is! That is what The Children of Hurin is about, man. You've got Turin, all right? He's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line, all right? And you've got Forweg, and all his crew. They're men, they represent mortality, all right? And they're saying, go, go the mortal way, go the mortal way. He could go both ways.
