Housemates - A Genshin Crackfic

first day

(There's a couple of ships that are gonna be feautured in this, kazuscara, Eimiko, thomato, shinosara, ayamiya tho alot of them are very short-lived so yea😭 anywaye enjoy ig byeee)

Alright, today is the day!

The time on Kazuha's watch reads 14:35, a luxury that will soon be taken away from him unfortunately due to this challenges stupid rules. But then again money is money and if Kazuha has to give up a few things for a chance of it, that's okay.

He looks up and stares at the decently sized house in front of him. His new temporary home for the next seven days! That he'd also be sharing with a dozen people—

Twelve people isn't that bad right? It's just 12 people + Kazuha and that makes 13 which is kinda alot, especially for someone who had been living alone in a crummy little apartment up until recently.

He was in serious, serious debt and the owner of the complex was only getting more furious by the day. At first, he was able to use the whole " but my family disowned me" trick to gain some sympathy but now? It doesn't matter if you fell in a tornado or got eaten by a shark. The rent needs to be paid.

Plus doing some stupid social experiment is better than the possibility of ending up homeless. Kazuha figures that as long as the other kids his age are at the same maturity level there shouldn't be any issues.

The producers did a pretty good job keeping them in the dark about alot of stuff. They weren't given any knowledge on who'd they'd be housing with nor the actual conditions that needed to be met to win the money.

Once getting selected the application he received mentioned how you should enter with nothing else but yourself. And you're clothes of course. Last time they didn't specify that part and multiple people showed up nude.

That also meant no weapons, no phones (they'd be providing cameras) no nothing.

Okay, so weapons? Kazuha understood Afterall people were crazy nowadays and would try and kill you any chance they got. But his phone?? Really?? How else was he supposed to uphold his discord kitten career?

(Don't judge him okay. Money was really tight some weeks.)

Taking in a deep breath Kazuha calms himself. After this was over he wouldn't even need to worry about that anymore. It was now a thing of the past.

But him winning that cash prize? That was the future he was aiming for. So with one foot after the other Kazuha steps right in and plans to do exactly that.

Compared to the absolute silence there was in the house when Kazuha was outside the noise inside was the complete opposite and his ears felt like they were going to explode like pop rocks.

There's people screaming and yelling but among all that chaos Kazuha tries to focus on the sticky note placed at the front entrance.

When you arrive head over to the closet confessional room to introduce yourself :D

Ignoring the fact that the handwriting was akin to a two-year-old, it's probably something that the producers left and heads on his way to look for it.

All the doors in this godforsaken house look the same. And what's even worse is that majority of them are locked too.

If it wasn't for another horribly written sticky note stuck on the door Kazuha's sure it probably would've taken ages to find it.

For the first minute or so Kazuha stands idly by the door, waiting for whoever was inside to finish.

But of course, since life hates him ever so much it just had to go ahead and throw in someone to interact with him.

A boy with a purple scarf and scar across his nose takes his place in line beside Kazuha. His eyes were gleaming with excitement.

He turns to Kazuha and greets him with a smile. "Cool, another participant! I was so excited about this yesterday that I couldn't get a wink of sleep. I'm Tomo by the way, what about you?"

Ah, so he was the chatty type. This must be a test against Kazuha's non-existent social skills...

"Kazuha." He says way too dully. "My name is Kazuha."

"Well, then it's nice to meet you. I'm sure you and I will turn out to be pretty great friends Kazu."

Nah, so they just met and this guy is already giving him a nickname? The sentiment is sweet but Kazuha has to remind himself that he's here to win. Buuut maybe having a few acquaintances isn't too bad either. This whole thing is a team effort, not a competition.

"Same here."

Right on queue, the door of the confessional room opens to reveal a purple haired guy who's basically like 1 feet tall and has the death glare of a murderer.

Wonder what's up with him?

When Kazuha enters the closet he's met with a camera placed on a stand and some creepy ass man hidden among the clothing hangers.

What the fuck.

"Kaedehara Kazuha, yes?" The voice asks and Kazuha nods before settling himself comfortably on the seat. "Good sir uhm...I see you've settled yourself in nicely within that stack of clothes.
Forget the interview this place had some serious ethical issues. "Is this where you'll be living for the next week?"

He nods.

"That's actually like really sad."

"No, I really don't mind. And I get a pretty big pay so..."

"Is that even legal? You know what Mr camera man? After this challenge is over you can come live with me in my apartment block.

"What. That's not even my name—"

"Being subjected to such dehumanisation is awful. I don't have alot of money yet but give me this week and I'm sure we'll be able to float by with part-time jobs—"

"C-can we please just start with the interview?"

"Of course."

—

MR CAMERAMAN: Alright kid so what brings you here today?

Man, these questions were so easy. "A taxi. An expensive one at that."

The camera man stops the recording and pinches his nose in frustration.
"Kid look, the questions asking why you're doing the challenge. Not how you got here. Make sure to say your name as well."

"Ah okay."

"Hello, my name is kaedehara Kazuha. I'd like to win the prize money because...well." At a loss for what to say next Kazuha signals for the Mr camera man to stop recording. "I don't know what to say." He whispers.

MR CAMERA MAN: Say something from the heart. Something that'll leave an impact on the viewers. Y'know?

With newfound inspiration, Kazuha nods passionately.

The camera rolls again.

"Hello, my name is kaedehara Kazuha. I'd like to win the prize money because if I can't pay off my debt in two weeks I'm genuinely going to kill myse—"

MR CAMERA MAN: HOLD ON HOLD ON