Housemates - A Genshin Crackfic

gn sleep tight don't let the homos bite

Was this guy serious?? THAT'S WHAT HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT?!

So full of anger and rage, his blood boiling like never before, Kazuha instantly grabs Scaramouche by the collar and shoves him against the wall.

In the background, you can hear some of the others cheering.

Despite this, he still wears that stupid smug grin on his face.

"Damn Kazuha, that's kinda hot."

"Excuse me?"

Kazuha instantly drops him.

This definitely could not be real. It couldn't be! First his only friend fucking dies at the kitchen table and now this jerk is calling Kazuha choking him hot?!

Arranging his collar, Scaramouche stands up. "You know…I shouldn't be the one you're getting mad at. After all, it was Ei who made the food that killed him." He places a finger on his chin.

"Then again only a fool with a death wish would eat something she made."

Everyone's eyes fall on Ei and all she can do is give out an awkward apology.
"Uhm. Sorry."

Kokomi deadpans. "Girl, is that really the best you can do?"

"This is hard for me too, okay?!'

To be honest Kazuha's inclined to have a swing at Ei too but the sight of his dead friend on the ground and the fact she looks as if she's about to cry settles his inner turmoil.

Within a few seconds paramedics that literally nobody even called?? Burst through the front door with a stretcher to come to drag Tomo's body away.

"You…You people can't just take him! Leave him alone!" Kazuha yells.

-

KOKOMI

"Kazuha I love you but we are not letting a corpse rot in the kitchen just because you're upset."

-

Gorou walks up to Kazuha and places a hand on his shoulder as comfort. "It's okay Kazuha. He's in a better place now."

"No, he's not."

"C-c'mon Kazuha you don't know that!"

Damnn imagine your own bestie not believing in you. Even in death.

You know things are getting serious too because even Mr cameraman chose to leave the closet to come to deal with the situation.

"Hey, so Paimon called to let me know that yes, this does count as an elimination. But if anyone attempts to kill someone using food poisoning or any related methods it's an automatic disqualification."

Yae can be heard groaning in annoyance at that part.

"Anyway… Make sure you guys let paramedics do their job, we don't need any more casualties. I'm heading back into the closet." Mr cameraman says and with that, he leaves.

-

ARATAKI ITTO

"Y'know, I've never actually seen a dead body before so this was a really eye opening experience."

MR CAMERAMAN: You say this as if witnessing a murder is some fundamental life experience.

"I-it's not?"

-

With Tomo gone the kitchen feels weirdly empty. Well, maybe not weirdly because it's perfectly normal for a room to be more spacious when someone dies.