ᴺᴱᵂ ᴺᴱᴵᴳᴴᴮᴼᵁᴿ

good old days

i walked back inside, just hopeless.

TW

i didn't know what to do, but i knew a way of letting go off of the pain, not entirely, but slightly.

hurting myself was like popping bubbles of pressure from under my skin, i liked it.
but i didn't like the outcome, the outcome was the worst.

blood on my clothes, on the floor, but it got worse when i didn't have bandages.

i wouldn't go to the store with bloody hands, it would look like i just killed someone, when it was only the monster inside of me that i tried to kill but drastically failed to.

it's either i get blood all over my walls and floor or i'll have the consequences and have clean walls and floors

i grabbed my phone, hesitating.

i called martinus, not marcus, marcus knew what i do to myself, so him hearing me ask for bandages would raise his concerns over me, and i didn't want that.

i pressed the phone button, to hear the suspending noise of the phone ringing.

eventually the phone was picked up, to a voice.

"y/n?" martinus said through the phone.

"martinus, are you at home?" i asked

"no, i'm in the car, driving home from football"

"can you grab me some bandages on the way home, i ran out and i need some"

"uh.. sure?"

"thank you, just drop them off at my door"

"okay.."

(martinus pov)

"thank you martinus" her voice said through the phone which was against my ear whilst i drove.

"sure" she ended the phone call, and i was just, confused.

"who was it?" marcus asked.

"y/n"

"oh.. what does she need?"

"some bandages"

marcus' eyes widened.

"what's up?" i asked him, he looked at me.

"she's hurting"

"hurting?"

"hurting herself"

"what do you mean?"

"SELF HARM YOU DUMBASS" marcus shouted in distress.

"quickly, just drop me off here, i'll go to her house and help her, you get the bandages"

"marcus your just going to stress her out"

"so what, you want her to hurt herself?"

i stayed silent.

"exactly, stop the car"

i stopped the car, and he ran out, running towards our house while i turned to the shop parking lot.

i quickly went in, grabbed bandages and paid.

(marcus pov)

here i am, knocking on the door, out of breath, in front of y/ns house.

no reply.

i knocked again, this time, i heard footsteps.

the door opened, i was shocked.

y/n looked down as if she expected the bandages to be on the floor in front of her house.

she looked so tired, bloody wrists, everything felt like it wasn't real.

she looked up, gulping, and just as she was about to close the door, i quickly put my foot in the way, pushing the door open myself.

i closed the door behind me, as she took steps back, as if i was some monster.

"y/n" i said.

her blood dripped on the floor, leaving a trail.

i didn't care about the blood, i just went up to her and hugged her.

tears came to my eyes, but i just had to stop myself.

the house went silent, i could feel her trembling as i hugged her.

"please y/n, don't do this to yourself" i whispered as i was close to her ear.

"i'm sorry" she said, i could hear her crying.

moments later another knock on the door appeared. y/n went to open it and found martinus with some bandages.

(martinus pov)

my heart sunk, lots of blood drops were on the floor, including on marcus' football kit.

i quickly walked in.

"here marcus, go help y/n, i'll clean this mess up"

marcus grabbed the bandages from my hand and led y/n to the sink.

i followed the trail to the bathroom, where i found a razor on the floor in a pool of blood.

i gulped and got the mop that was in the bathroom, i filled a bucket up with water and started to clean the mess, following the trail back to the front door.

(y/n pov)

marcus grabbed me gently and led me to the sink.

he placed my wrists above the sink and adjusted the temperature to a cold temperature.

i was just sobbing.

he then took my hand and started to pour the water over my wrists.

"i don't want you to do this" he said.

"i can't stop" i said.

"i know it's hard, please stay at ours, i don't want you hurting yourself any further, i don't want you to die because i love you..y/n" he said, cleaning my wounds.

my eyes slightly widened.

he stopped with the water and now put bandages on my arms.

he was gentle.

i saw martinus with a mop, following the trail and cleaning up.

"will you stay at ours?"

"what about Hugo"

"we can take him"

i just looked down.

"sorry that you had to see me like this" i gulped.

marcus finished wrapping my arm and just hugged me as i hugged him back.