For You and Your Denial

Chapter 9

I will be here."

Her heart sunk at the feel of Amanda's lips on her cheek, the sweet and tender kiss was enough to turn her stomach in her knots, the vanilla scent she inhaled deeply knowing it would be the last time she would be this close to the blonde. So badly she wanted to wrap her arms around Amanda's tiny waist, for just one last time feel her soft skin under her fingertips. She tried to hold back her tears but it was no avail, tears began to roll down her cheeks. Olivia shiver feeling Amanda soft touch as her thumb wiped her tear away and without thinking her lips were soon pressed against Amanda's.

She anticipated being pushed away, much like she did to Amanda last night but the tongue that felt on the bottom of her lip proved otherwise. Olivia's hand fall on the waist of the blonde, bringing her body closer to her; closing the gap between. Her heart doing backflips and the butterflies in her heart flutter around in supersonic speed. She moaned into their kiss when she felt Amanda's free hand behind her head, pulling her closer; deepening the kiss. For that very moment, it was just them. The world has stood still and the sun shines brightly through Olivia's apartment windows onto them, showing the world that this, this is what love is and this is what love feels like. That the electricity radiating between was never a simple fabric of Olivia's imagination but it was real and raw. It was now as their tongue dance and their mouths shifted with passion and yearning; that Olivia realized it was goodbye.

For now.

A month has passed since Olivia had come out to Amanda, within the month she and Brian had broken up, which Brian had moved out from their apartment. During the passing month, Olivia pushed herself to visit gay bars, she wanted to dip her feet into the world that had now become hers. Her sexuality sparked through the month, she noticed women a lot more in a much different light, even found that she had a certain type of women that she liked; blonde with blue eyes, on the shorter side compared to her height but not too short. Although she has not been on any dates, she found herself becoming openly flirty with other females, loving the way they would flirt back with her. Her heart, however, belongs to one blonde hair and blue eye beauty; and she hoped the feeling is still mutual.

Another work day had ended and again the only two left were them. Both working quietly finishing up the last report before heading home. Olivia was unable to concentrate on the report in front of her, the faint wore off vanilla scent fogged her mind. She sat across from her, making it difficult to focus on anything. Olivia watched her, secretly, studying her habits. The way her tongue wrapped around the end of her pen, unknowingly what she was doing to her, how she would bite the inside of cheek when she became frustrated with the paperwork, how her mouth would remain open just a little when she was focus on something, or how her side bangs would fall after she pushed them behind her ear, and how she would bite her bottom lip with a small smile right before she was done with her paperwork, just like she was doing now.

"Done." Amanda breathe out as she slammed the folder shut, throwing her pen on top of it. She leaned back against her chair, her eyes locked with Olivia's. Her beauty always made her heart flutter but this was different, maybe it was her confidence; breaking out of her shell. Whatever it was, her beauty shines brighter than since she has known her.

"I am just about done. I will see tomorrow?"

Amanda leaned forward, her arms laid on her desk. "Any plans for the weekend?" She asked.

Olivia set her pen down, mimicking Amanda's acting; her arms laid on her desk, leaning forwards. "Uh, nope. No plans." She shrugged, watching the blonde gather her things as she stood up from her chair.

"Oh, too bad," Amanda replied pushing her computer chair and shutting off her lamp light.

"How about we hang out?" Olivia asked, nervously.

Amanda bit her bottom lip lightly," I'm sorry but I already have plans. Haley and I are heading up north to camp..."

Olivia felt her heart broke into millions of pieces. "Oh." She whispered. "Well, have fun, then."

Amanda walked over to Olivia's side, her hand fell on her Olivia's shoulder, squeezing it lightly in a subtle apology. "Maybe next time, okay?" She gave the older woman a faint smile.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Amanda smiled widely "Great, see you tomorrow." She gave Olivia another light squeeze on her shoulder, before walking out.

Olivia's eyes follow the blonde until she had disappeared from the squad room. Her ache was real and quite painful, a million pieces that she now had to somehow put together. She cursed to herself, not realizing was indeed in a relationship with Haley, and of course, she was. Haley was young and sexy, both things that she wasn't.

But she can't let her go.