Waves

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The sea has always fascinated Mrs. Lovett.  Its beauty changes throughout the day. At dawn it is warm, a palette of yellows, oranges and reds blending together in the sky. At midday it is the bright yellow color of the sun that makes the sea look much more lively, while at sunset the yellow, orange, red and deep red palettes come together again as the birds fly their way home. At midnight, there’s the sky’s dark blue hue of a cold starry night. That doesn’t bother her, not when the warmth Mr. Todd’s body is pressed against her.

And yet, what she finds the most fascinating about the sea are the waves

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And yet, what she finds the most fascinating about the sea are the waves. How they seem to dance in a flawless manner. It mesmerizes her to such extent that she cannot help but compare the waves to Mr. Todd’s emotions. Sometimes they can be calm, relaxed, nothing more than a gentle rolling in and out but they can also be ravaging, ruthless, crashing mercilessly against the shore. Perhaps it is due to all the books she’s read to keep boredom and heartache at bay that she’s been able to come up with her theory: Mr. Todd’s emotions are like the waves. When the wind blows, it causes the sea to become more restless, the stronger the winds, the harsher the waves; while the opposite happens when there’s nothing but a calm gentle breeze.

When it comes to Mr. Todd’s bloody unstable emotions, the wind can either take the shape of the Judge, Lucy or Johanna. The former agitates him, aggravating the simmering ire that goes hand in hand with his brooding. Lucy and Johanna calm him, perhaps he thinks of lullabies and yellow-haired angels, perhaps such gentleness reminds him that he used to be gentle. Mrs. Lovett remembers when Johanna was born, how he wanted to spend the rest of his life taking care of that innocent little bundle of joy he and his adoring wife had created, their precious family. Mrs. Lovett knows those memories upset him sometimes, aware he can’t get them back, he can’t get back all the time he’s lost. It’s gone forever and no divine power could bring them back into his life. And yet, she knows that if a miracle is worked upon him and grants him a wish, he wouldn’t hesitate to get back to them, and Mrs. Lovett would be all alone once again. ‘No’ she tells herself, she needs to clear those thoughts away.

It’s a wonder how one single thought grows into a big bubble that can swallow you if you let it.

The sun is about to set, and Mrs. Lovett is still sitting at the same spot she chose to ruminate when she came here earlier that afternoon. She and Mr. Todd had a little argument about the neighbor’s invitation to have tea with them this coming Sunday. Of course, Mr. Todd doesn’t want to go and she had a hard time convincing him. Unsurprisingly, it led to a fight.

She remembers hearing him say “bloody wretched woman“ after she threw a spoon at him out of irritation. She can’t help but to snicker, recalling how his face suddenly changed from irritated to amused and then back to anger. They are like children sometimes, with their tantrums. Naturally, she wanted to apologize to him, but she was just too tired. She does everything in the house after all; she cooks, cleans, does the laundry, then cleans again and cook again and mend his gloves and her corsets because he accidentally cuts that sometimes, the gloves part at least. The only thing he does is polishing his razor and occasionally pacing.

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