Ramayan- the untold words and stories

Mata Keykeyi's guilt

♡ the next day after the last chapter's date. ♡

The Queen sat on her couch. The couch where she used to play with her eldest son. The couch may have been old but had so many memories attached to it.
She wanted to smile whilst remembering her sons, her husband, her sisters' happy faces. Her happy family. However her jaw wouldn't allow her to smile. Her deeds denied her wish. Those two boons she had asked for made it impossible for anyone/anything to fulfil any of her new wishes. She couldn't even smile. Couldn't even laugh. Well, she did smile once, before Bharat, Mandavi, Shatrughan and Shrutkirti had arrived, when She had been promised her two boons, oh how she laughed when her first boon was fulfilled so easily! She remembered how much she cried when her son abandoned her. How she has cried at her husband's death and funeral. How she had cried when Sumitra came and informed her about her husband's death. All those moments, even know, she regrets. She spends her day regretting, not eating nor sleeping, just regretting. Her family members had tried to tell her that it wasn't her fault. Or that she was forgiven, they all had failed, they made her feel even more guilty. For she knew, they were just trying to make her feel better, she knew that those words see all lies. After all, Ram, Lakshman, Sita, Mandavi, Shrutkirti, Shatrughan, Kaushalya and Sumitra may have forgiven her but what about her other son? Bharat? He hadn't forgiven her. He doesn't even speak to her. When he comes into the palace for Mandavi,  she sometimes speaks to him. But he never calls her "Mata". She longed to hear the word from his mouth.
And his wife? She felt guilty. Whilst being pregnant, Mandavi should have her husband with her all the time, but because of her, she now has to spend husbandless, lonely, boring and painful nights.
She would feel better with her daughter-in-law's hugs, for a daughter in law is like a daughter but her daughter in law is her daughter!

"Maa?"
The Mother turned around. She looked at who stood at the door. Emotionless as always, but looked happy
"Mandavi"
"Maa? I have said this before, call me maan!"
"I don't think I deserve that right! I know I don't! The one who did died as soon as she asked for those cursed two boons, ever since then, only lives the ex quee-"
"No mata!" the princess exclaimed softly "You are still a Queen, you always will be and you were one. Pitashree just said something in anger and sorrow. After all, you should never cry over spilled milk, take an angry man's words to heart and trust an excited man's promise."
"oh maan, you are the only one who can make me feel better in such a way. Your words are so soothing!" The Royal exclaimed. She caressed the girl's hair
'Maa, you look better when you smile, why did you stop smiling?"
"what is there to smile about, Mandavi?"
"Oolala, how many times do I have to tell you that you should call me maan and is my child nothing to smile about Maa?"
"It is, for sure, I just don't deserve-"
"Like mother like son, why do you two always stay so guilty. Not everything is your fault. This message doesn't seem to get across to you both!"
Keykeyi tries to smile, and she smiled.
"There mata, you look great, very beautiful, you look just like Bharat when he smiles, I can see where he got the good looks from!"
"Putri?"
"Ji mata?"
"Are you truly that happy?"
"No"
"How do you stay so happy then? I have never seen you cry"
"If by crying the sorrow will reduce I would have, but by crying the sorrow only increases! Everyone else is already sad, crying, Shatru misses his brothers, Shruti misses her sister and her happy family, Urmila misses her husband, Mata Kaushalya misses her sons and daughter in law as well as her husband, Mata Sumitra is remembering memories and misses her family. You, Mata Keykeyi regret and feel guilty every second. Everyone is sad, I am definitely not happy, but for the child, I'll try to smile."
"Yes Putri, I understand, thank you" the elder woman could hardly speak, she choked those words.
The two women hug one another, one crying and the other comforting.

Flashback

"Mandavi?"
"Ji mata?"
The young woman responded to the older woman who had come in her chamber
"I'm sorry for not speaking to you over the past few weeks"
"It's okay, you don't have to apologise and it's not like you didn't speak to me at all, we had our own conversations."
"Thank you, you know Mandavi?"
"Ji? And you can call me maan"
"Okay maan, you look like chandra meaning chandrabhaga, you resemble her when she was young"
"I get that a lot mata, but how do you know her?"
"She and me went to the same gurukul, we were best friends there, very different of course, I love fighting and war and she loved cooking and sewing."
"Oh I see, that's lovely"
" I can tell, Shruti took after her father and you after your mother."
"Yup, mata" Mandavi replied before she yawned
"Are you feel sleepy?"
"Ji"
"Good night then, Bharat is probably waiting for you"
"No mata, he comes very late nowadays"
"Oh Lord, I'll set him straight for you. Good night maan!"
"Good night mata"