Story Of Another Us (Chaelisa)

12

The sound from the clock ticking was filling Lisa's ears, she felt uncomfortable with the stranger in front of her - the silence was killing her.

"Take your time" Dr Kim assured her, he was apparently great at his job and she had been recommended to go see him by Dara.

"I...I don't know were to start" She sighed.

"Why are you here, let's start there" Dr Kim was relaxed but she had never been to a therapist before, she wasn't sure how it worked.

"I...I want to make peace with my past I guess, start living my life again"

"You don't feel like you're living your life?"

"Well yeah...but not like I used to" She corrected herself.

"When did you feel like that changed?" He studied her.

"After the accident"

"Accident?"

"I was in a car crash and lost my baby...our son" She informed him and the thought of that made her anxious immediately.

"I'm sorry" He nodded. "How do you feel about that?"

"That I could've done more...That I could have saved him" Lisa admitted.

"And how would you do that?" He asked.

"I don't know..." She looked at him. "I was supposed to protect him...but I couldn't"

"Accident's will happen sometimes, no matter how careful you are and the older you get, the more fragile you understand life is." He spoke.

"You can't control everything, it's impossible"

"I know that I can't control everything, trust me"

"We all make mistakes Lisa, we all have struggles and even regret things in our past - but you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles and you are here now with the power to shape your future"

"I just want to find myself again..."

"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself" He advised her. "Grief is in two parts. The first is loss, the second is the remaking of life"

"I tried to create a new one...It didn't work" Lisa told him.

"How did you try?"

"My ex-wife cheated on me shortly after we lost the baby and we had a divorce...I had gotten close to one of my colleagues and we started dating until a few weeks ago when she left me"

"How did it feel when she cheated on you?"

"Why is that you question everything?" Lisa wondered.

"It's important, if you don't reflect over your emotions you can't move on from them"

"Heartbroken" She sighed. "She was my rock, my...everything - it truly broke my heart"

"Why did you think she cheated?"

"I pushed her away...I spent more time with Irene than with her...I asked for a break"

"If she was your rock why did you push her away during that difficult time for the both of you?" He wasn't asking her easy questions.

"I...I was mad that I survived but he didn't, I couldn't understand why I was still here...that wasn't fair you know?" Lisa struggled to get her words out, she felt herself getting teary. "It felt like I was just existing but I didn't have any purpose"

"So that's why you searched for it with Irene?" He wondered.

"I didn't search for anything" Lisa fired back quickly. "I had no idea what was gonna happen"