Violated

7

It's been a day since I've seen Zaire. Not twenty-four hours but I left his apartment this morning and I've been at work the whole day. It was a Monday. I hate Monday's. When I got here I cut straight to my dressing room and closed the door quickly behind me. I walked to my closet of sexy clothing and picked out my outfit for the night.

I walked to the bathroom and hung the outfit on the doorknob after closing the bathroom door. I took a very long needed shower. I stayed in there for about an hour and a half. To be honest I didn't want to get out, but I had to. So I got out of the shower and turned the water off before grabbing a towel and drying myself off. Once I was dried I started throwing on the clothing.

I walked out of the bathroom and to my desk. In the mirror the brown haired boy was wearing a dark red sparkly body suit. Attached to the hips was a small black skirt. Underneath were fishnets and black platform heels. I sat down on the chair and grabbed a brush to make my hair look a little less messy. Once my hair was tamed I started playing with makeup. I put on foundation, concealer, contour, blush, a bit of eyeshadow, mascara, and lipgloss. Once my makeup was done I stood up and threw on a silky black robe on top of my outfit. I wasn't the special dancer tonight, it was another girl.

I walked out into the club area and saw the special dancer on the main stage. She was practicing her routine. I watched her wiggle her hips and wink at fake audience members and feel her own body and couldn't help but roll my eyes. I was usually nice to my co-workers but this girl was fucking annoying. Another reason why I hated Mondays.

I walked to the bar and grabbed myself some wine. I leaned on the counter and drank little sips of my wine. Tonight I was just going to cruise around the audience. Mondays are usually the nights where I interact with patrons and they take me home but Zaire's words flashed through my mind. 'Mikey, I know it's hard but you can't keep doing this to yourself.'

I put the glass I was using on the counter and walked to the left stage where Natalie was. "Hey, Nat." I said. "Hi Micheal." She greeted. I leaned on the stage. "What are you doing?" I asked her. "Oh, I'm working on this stage tonight, as a side show." She said. I nodded. "Do you want anything from the fridge?" I asked, pushing myself up. "Just some water please, I've been parched all day." She said, dramatically. I nodded with a giggle and scurried over to get her water.

I was leaning on the counter behind the bar. Lights were flashing, music was playing. The club was open and I was filling in as a waiter. I heard someone hit the counter and I snapped out of my thoughts. I scurried over and a lady asked for a wine. I nodded and walked over to the fridge, grabbing the wine bottle. I poured a drink for the lady and served it for her. She thanked me and I couldn't help but notice she looked me up and down and shifted in her seat, ew.

I walked away from the lady and looked over to see that annoying bitch shaking her ass to her audience. I rolled my eyes again and looked away. It was boring tonight, Zaire wasn't here. I was bored out of my mind. I decided I was going to entertain myself. I walked around the bar and to a random guy sitting at a table with his friends. I tapped on his shoulder and all of his friends looked at me.

"Would you like anything, sir?" I asked, innocently. He smirked at me and spared a glance to his chuckling friends. "Yeah, actually." He said, shifting in his seat. He put his hand on my shoulder and dragged it down the front of my chest and caressed my waist. My mind flashed back to Zaire's words. 'Please Mikey if someone ever tries to touch you please tell them you don't want it.'

I had some hesitation but covered it up with my flirty act. I took his hand and put his palm on my cheek. I put on a desperate face. "What do you need?" He didn't talk. He cupped my cheek and turned my face around. "Sir?" I said teasingly. He put his hand on my shoulder again and pulled me closer. "You're such a cutie." He mumbled. I just stared at him innocently. His friends chuckled and whispered around the table.

His hand found mine and he squeezed while standing up. He looked back to his friends. "Sorry guys, I have something to attend to." He said with a smirk and dragged me away. We were going to the front doors. It was like I was swooped off my feet and kidnapped. We got to his place faster than I expected or so I thought but we never left the car. His lips were on mine faster than I could process and he pulled me over to his seat and sat me on his lap, facing him.

It was raining outside and I could hear the rain drops on the roof of the car. My birth mother used to tell me that raindrops were giant's tears. She used to tell me that it rained because the giants on top of the clouds were sad and needed to cry their emotions out. He was pulling my body suit off my shoulders. It took a lot of struggling but we eventually got all of our clothes off in the very little space we had.

I only had one mindset at the moment. I just wanted to feel it. Sometimes sex was a reminder that I was alive and can feel physically and emotionally. As soon as he entered me I was moaning and digging at his shoulders. This time I had no intention of punching this guy in the face or knocking him out cold. I just wanted to feel him to remind myself that I was alive.

I leaned my body into his and put my jaw on his shoulder and started moving forward and backwards slowly, his hands on my hips to guide me. He started moving me faster and I just let him because I was just trying to feel him. And I was feeling him.

The rain started hitting the roof harder. The giants were crying harder for me because they knew I was in the wrong place and I would regret what I was doing later.

I woke up really suddenly and and shot my head up. I could still hear the rain hitting the roof but it was calming down. The giants were probably crying for hours. I looked around for some source of time because it was still dark out. I was still sitting on the man and he was still inside of me. He was also sleeping. I finally found his phone and checked the time. 2:37 am.

I started panicking, remembering how Zaire told me to sleep at his apartment and I put a hand to my mouth when I realized what me sitting on this man really meant. I let him touch me. I let him make "love" to me. And all I did was moan and pull on his hair. I sat up and lifted my hips. I fell back into the passenger seat and pulled all of my clothes on. I was having a panic attack.

Once my clothes were on I opened the car door and stepped out into the rain. I slammed the car door and ran as far as my heeled feet would carry me away from that car. I ran through the rain, navigating my way back to Zaire's apartment. He was probably worried sick. I did what he asked me not to do. I let another man touch me, I wasn't even sure if I wanted it or not but I knew it was wrong.

When I finally got to the building tears were running down my cheeks. I ran to the elevator and got up to his floor as quickly as I could. My hair and clothing were soaked and I was shaking, I was so cold. When I got to his door I banged on it as hard as I could and a sob broke from my chest. I banged for a good two minutes before Zaire opened the door in his pyjamas and rubbing his eyes to wake up.

I immediately fell into his chest sobbing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I sobbed over and over again. He was caught off guard and almost fell to the floor but caught me. "I'm sorry, I let it happen. I don't know why I didn't push him off of me! I'm sorry!" I cried. "Shh.." Zaire whispered, a little bit confused but catching some of my slurred words. "You let what happen? Where were you?" He asked.

"Zaire, I'm so sorry. I let another man lead me to his car and we had sex. I'm so sorry, I promised you I wouldn't." I said, steadying my voice as much as I could. He was still trying to process my words. "Calm down, it's okay. We all make mistakes." He cooed. "No you don't understand! I can't stop! It's like my mind wants to walk away from the man but my body follows him to his car and let's him fuck the shit out of me! I can't stop, it's like an unhealthy addiction!"

"Zaire! It's not healthy and I know it! I crave sex like it's a drug and I can't stop!" I screamed into his chest. He held he close and rested his jaw on my head. "Shh, calm down.. Mikey, I'm not mad." He spoke. "No, I'm a bad person! I broke our promise!" I sobbed. "Mikey, listen to me. There's no such thing as bad people, We're just people who do bad things." Zaire said with a soothing tone.

"But- but-" "Shh.. please calm down. I'm not mad.." He soothed. I took a few deep breaths and rested my face against his chest. "It's ok. We'll work on that. Little steps at a time." He cooed and kissed the top of my head. I nodded and hugged his body in the middle of the doorway. I didn't want to let go.