The Sterling Nightingale ⟷ Finnick Odair/OC

And the gentle pallor of dawn

Chapter Twenty Three | And the gentle pallor of dawn

"She would not show fear. She was determined to seem unconcerned, flippant even. She wished, when the shock came, to be prepared for it, to have all her wits about her." Emma Orczy, The Scarlet Pimpernel

Finnick reaches the training center in a cloud of foggy anger. He's still reeling from the scene at Gigi's, and all his emotions have been swept up into a storm that he can't unravel. Guilt, for putting their relationship on the spot in public. Aggravation that Sil had said no to begin with. Confusion, because he doesn't really understand why she said no at all, and also why her words had hurt him. He'll never understand how easily she can get beneath his armor. That silly socialite Victor has become someone important to him.

I don't want to marry you...

He pounds the district 4 button on the elevator and crumples against the wall. Has falling in love always been so hard? Is it always so frightening and so heart wrenching? Why did he have to fall for Silver Lamprey Cornelius? A union like that wouldn't have worked anyway. She's too flamboyant for him. And yet...

He loves the dramatic way she puts on airs. The way her nose wrinkles up whenever she thinks of something distasteful. The low moan that had swept through her when she had tasted hot chocolate on a chilly evening in his home district. The ease of which he could frighten her by weaving stories about monsters that do not exist.

There is a sincerity in her mannerisms; an honesty that goes beyond the normal human capacity for such truths. Unwinding those truths is the tricky part. Plucking them out and deciphering their meanings is something he has become addicted to. But maybe he should leave it alone, for now. Perhaps forever. Because there had been sincerity in her eyes when she'd said no to him, too, and that has to mean something.

He enters his suite, and runs headlong into Haymitch Abernathy.

"Hay – "

"Roof," is all he mutters, swiftly cutting him off and dragging Finnick right back onto the elevator that he only just vacated. Finnick sighs. He's tired. He still has to prepare for the final training scores and the interviews, both of which are tomorrow. He'd really like to take a nap before then and try to forget about the way his heart is still clenching at the stinging rejection it has just experienced.

Neither of them speaks until they reach the top level, and then Haymitch exits the elevator first, striding over to the edge and leaning against the railing. Finnick joins him. The Capitol buildings pulse out beneath them, like gray ants rolling over and over each other in a dizzying spiral. He's glad that he can't see Gigi's from here. He doesn't need the reminder when every thought prompts him to remember everything anyway.

"...Something happen?" Haymitch asks, brow rising in slight confusion. The older man studies Finnick carefully, no doubt taking notice of the storm brewing behind his eyes and the stiff set of his shoulders. Finnick doesn't want to talk about it, lest of all with Haymitch, the infamous drunkard from 12. But the words just pour from his lips before he can rein them in, and he blurts, "Sil...she rejected my marriage proposal."

Haymitch's eyebrow rises up even further.

"Did she?" he asks in surprise, as if the very thought of Sil saying no to him is a shock. "That's surprising, with the way she acts around you. She must have a reason."

The sharp bark of laughter that escapes Finnick has Haymitch pursing his mouth.

"A reason? She's the stupidest Victor in the Capitol. Her reason is probably because I don't fit with the rest of her wardrobe."