Can You Hear the Ocean?

Chapter 36

True to her word, Mia returned to work at the café. Though she often spoke about how much she despised the job to everyone she knew, she welcomed her crappy minimum wage job as a distraction. At least when she was waiting tables, she wasn't alone. Even if the customers were sometimes rude, even if her manager chastised her, it was better than the confines of her apartment where silence echoed through the walls.

Still, work didn't prevent Mia from returning home in the evening to an empty apartment. She always unlocked the door, hopeful Leila would be in there cooking dinner as if nothing had happened, but when she opened the door after returning home one evening, her heart sunk to hear the silence radiating from the apartment. The blinds had been drawn shut; Mia had forgotten to open them in the morning. As Mia reached for a light switch, she listened to the heater run and glanced around the empty kitchen.

"Ramen it is," Mia murmured.

As she watched the water boil on the stove, Mia glanced around and shivered. Years prior, she had also lived alone in a darkened, quiet home like this. Her apartment with Leila in Maine, once cozy and full of life, now reminded her of the small home she and her father shared in Missouri. Her father would draw the blinds and drink in his bedroom, leaving Mia alone in a darkened house. Those were the days she felt the loneliest.

Mia slowly hugged herself with her arms. She hated to admit she was feeling close to that same level of loneliness with Leila gone.

Her phone suddenly rang on the counter. Mia quickly reached for it, desperately hoping it was Leila, but her heart sunk when she saw it was Julian's number.

"Hey," she answered.

"Hey. Want me to come over tonight?" he asked. Julian had been sure to keep her company often in the time she had been alone. She knew he was worried for her, and while Mia was tempted to decline, she relented, knowing he was only looking out for her.

"Okay," she said.

"Want me to bring any food?" Julian asked.

"No. That's okay," Mia said. "I'm eating right now."

"Okay. See you soon," he said.

After hanging up, Mia slurped on ramen alone in her apartment. As she finished washing the dishes, a knock echoed on the door. Once again, Mia's heart leapt, but she realized it was only Julian. He had come with his duffel bag, apparently intent on spending the night.

"Hey," Mia said, giving him a kiss.

"Hey," Julian responded. "What did you make for dinner?"

"Just some ramen," Mia murmured.

"I could've picked something up for you," Julian said.

"It's fine," Mia responded.

"Well, let's watch a movie or something, then," Julian suggested.

Mia cozied up next to him on the couch. She rested her head against his shoulder and felt him wrap an arm around her. As the movie played in the background, Mia remembered back to when she had accidentally fallen asleep on Leila's shoulder when watching a movie.

Did she love me back then? Mia wondered.

She glanced up. Julian seemed entranced by the movie. It was a superhero film, one that Mia didn't really care for but one that Julian had been wanting to watch for a while. She safely assumed he wasn't going to speak to her much during the movie, so she let her thoughts wander.

Sitting on this couch with Julian felt foreign to her, Mia realized. For so long, this had been her and Leila's spot, where they'd watch movies and exchange stories and share laughter. Mia glanced at the couch cushion, noticing bits of Fuji's fur still clinging to the fabric. He would often curl up and sleep there while Leila and Mia enjoyed an evening together.