Can You Hear the Ocean?

Chapter 39

Leila never thought she'd see that the day where she was excited to go to work. While she and Mia had been nothing but cordial to each other since Leila's return, the awkwardness that seeped through the walls was becoming unbearable. The distance Leila had thought existed between them before paled in comparison to now. Meals were filled with silence, and interactions between her and Mia were few and far between. While they still greeted each other and sometimes had surface-level conversations, neither sought each other out in their free time.

It stung Leila to know the friendship she had so delicately re-crafted was slipping through her fingers, but what was done was done. Leila had said things she shouldn't have, and so had Mia. Leila wasn't sure they would ever be able to recover from what had transpired between them that one fateful evening.

It doesn't matter much now, Leila thought as she gripped her steering wheel. If I end up moving, I assume our friendship will just fade again.

Once Leila had arrived at her cubicle, she glanced around briefly and brought up her cover letter for the role she was applying for on the desktop. She began to make a few edits. Footsteps behind her made her jump in her seat. Leila turned around, seeing Helen. She let a faint squeal escape her mouth.

"G-Good morning!" she exclaimed, quickly exiting out of her cover letter document.

Helen chuckled. "No need to hide it from me. I know you're applying to the job anyway. Obviously just make sure you're still getting your normal projects done."

Leila nodded her head vigorously. "Of course! I will!"

Helen smiled. "I came to tell you I finished writing your reference letter. The employer should have it. When are you submitting your application?"

"I was hoping by the end of today," Leila said.

"Good to hear. I think you'd really excel at this position, Leila. I'll be sad to see you go, but I know you're going to do great things," Helen told her.

Leila nodded and for once, felt slightly excited. Never before had she made a decision like this all on her own. For so many years she'd relied on others to make decisions for her. Her mother had suggested the university that she had gone to, and her father had been the one to alert her about the job opening of the position she currently was in. Moving frightened Leila. Her heart increased just at the thought, but she knew life was not without risk and that the future could be equally as exciting as frightening.

"Let me know how it goes," Helen said, winking.

"I will. Thank you," Leila said, returning to her computer screen.

By mid-afternoon, she'd compiled together everything she needed for the application. Once, twice, three times Leila checked and read through all her materials again. However, when her finger went to hit the submission button, she hesitated.

Is this what I really want? Moving? Leaving Mia here alone? Her fingers began to tremble the more she thought about it.

Leila grit her teeth and quickly hit the submit button. She couldn't let the intrusive thoughts win this time. What was done was done. Either she'd hear back or she wouldn't, and maybe in the new year, she'd have a new job, a new apartment, a new life.

Good. I don't feel like I regret it, Leila said once she closed the tab and returned to her normal work duties.

That evening, Leila met up at a nearby bar for drinks with her friends. Leila had personally invited them, needing to tell them about the job application as well as everything else that had transpired. For some reason, during the chaos of the past few weeks when Leila had been at her parents, she hesitated telling her friends about the situation. She knew they would've offered nothing but support and comfort, and possibly even their couches to sleep on, and yet, Leila felt like it was something she had to handle alone. She expected they'd nag her today once she revealed all that had transpired.