epiphany - lydia martin [book 1]

chapter eight. note to self

"Is this my wonderful daughter actually bringing me dinner?" My mom grinned as I handed her the tied bag of Chinese takeout. I chuckled, nodding my head. I had just finished studying with Lydia about an hour ago. She was actually really helpful. I mean, I almost couldn't concentrate after our conversation because all I could think about was the fact that I had a crush on her. And how pretty she was, and how comforting and gentle her voice sounded when she was teaching me something. How patient and caring she was. How she explained things to me without being condescending or surprised that I didn't know them. I couldn't believe I had a crush on a girl who was dating someone else. At least I was actually feeling confident for the Chemistry test.

"You're welcome, by the way. How are things tonight?" I wondered, glancing around the hospital as I noticed that it looked more full than usual.

"It's been a little busier these days." She explained, sitting down at the front desk as she untied the bag.

"Because of all the animal attacks?" I asked. She nodded in response, opening the box of lo mein. I swallowed awkwardly, trying to think of something else to change the topic to. I hated that we had to lie to our mom. I don't know why Scott wouldn't just tell her. He definitely couldn't keep this secret forever, we literally lived with her. It was only a matter of time before she found out because she saw him shift, which would be way worse than him just telling her. I felt like he still thought there was a way to reverse being a werewolf. Like somehow, one day he was just gonna wake up and not be a werewolf anymore. Needless to say, it wasn't likely.

"So, how was your studying session?" My mom asked, a knowing grin on her face as she slurped up a handful of noodles.

"I'm actually kind of glad you asked. I kind of need some advice." I admitted, narrowing my eyes in uncertainty. I didn't know if my mom would actually be good with this stuff but it was worth a shot. I didn't really wanna tell anybody that I had a crush on Lydia. I didn't even know if I actually had a crush on Lydia. I mean, she was pretty, like really pretty, and funny in an annoying way, and she was actually really smart, and I hadn't stopped thinking about her ever since the bowling alley. It was just the way she looked at me, the way she talked to me. The special little feeling I got whenever she laughed at my jokes. It was just a small crush. It wasn't like I was in love with her or anything. I wouldn't be devastated if it never happened.

Lydia had a boyfriend. I barely have a chance to begin with.

"Sure. About Lydia?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I don't know what to do. It's just all so complicated. Stiles has had a crush on her for like forever, but then Allison said something the other day that makes me think he likes me, but I asked him about it and he said no but something seemed off and I just realized that I like Lydia but Lydia's dating Jackson but I think they might break up soon and I don't know what to do because I don't wanna be a terrible person and ruin everything for everybody." I exhaled as I finished, finally catching my breath.

My mom's eyes widened as she set down her container of noodles. "Okay... Wow, that was a lot. I'm not sure I know what to say here." I groaned, throwing my head back. I can't believe I just said all of that for nothing. What was I supposed to do, figure out how to solve my own problems? "Okay, well, first of all, you have to think about yourself. I know that sounds selfish but you can't stop yourself from doing something about your crush on Lydia because you're afraid you're gonna hurt somebody else. If you like her, you need to tell her that. Everybody else'll get over it eventually."

I nodded, "Okay but what about Stiles? Like what if he actually does like me?"

My mom rose her eyebrows, "Do you like Stiles?"