Odasaku's Last Wish (Dazai X Male!Reader)

II

Dazai hated being scared, it made him feel weak and vulnerable. Something he was taught was bad, something he taught others, was bad, and here he was, practically terrified. He took yet another deep breath. In, and out, in and out. Over and over, until he was calmer. Atleast so his hands weren't sweaty. Why did he choose this again?
Another deep breath. He slicked his hair back, something he used to do back with mori, as when he would mess up, the punishment would be decided acordingly. Though, there was no punishment involved, why was he so nervous? The last deep breath, he balled his hand to make a fist, and knocked on his door. His nerves acting up again, his heart started to thump in his chest, this time he couldn’t concentrate enough to calm it back down. He waited patiently, yet a little antsy at the door. He could hear footsteps inside getting closer to opening up. The more time passed, the more nervous he became, the louder the footsteps got, he imagined the worst case scenarios. He heard the doorknob turn, and was about ready to run off and do anything else, but he couldn’t move his legs. They seemed frozen. Why did this affect him as much as it did, meeting chuuya again wasn't making him nervous, meeting akutagwa again didn't strike as much emotion either,  it made his stomach churn, it felt like his body wanted to fall apart against the pressure his mind put him under. Then it happened, the thing dazai was so scared of.
The door opened, and here he was, (Y/n), infront of him, staring at him. (Y/n)'s eyes widened, as did his. The silence between them wasn't akward, nor was it weird or crummy. It was tranquil, calming even. They just kept staring into eachothers eyes, not in shock or anger, but in relieve. Relieved that they were finally convened with one another. Dazai continued to gaze upon the others face. It hadn't changed, just matured. (Y/n) was handsome, dazai had always thought that, the maturity only added to his beauty. His brows furrow as his eyes dwelled on his face, seeing tears start to build up. Dazai decided to break the apeasing silence, however didn't know what he was supposed to say. So he just stood there, opening and closing his mouth searching his mind for the right words. (Y/n) smiled, it was small, but noticable. It made Dazai stop and stare again. "It's been a while." His voice rang in dazais mind, causing his head to spin in circles with a wash of relieve and realization. He was here, standing in front of him, in actuality and not just in some lucid dream. Dazai couldn't help but think it felt like one, a dream, the best dream he had dreamt in years. As his mind grasped the situation, he subconsciously reached out his hand. His calloused hand, met (Y/n)'s cheek, softly grazing over it. His touch was so uncharacteristically soft and gentle, as if he were afraid to break him if he put to much force on the man infront of him. Still gazing into eachothers eyes, (Y/n) reached dazais hand, keeping it where it was, and leaning into the touch. (Y/n) vaguely knew what dazai was thinking, he was one of the only peoply who could see through him, not much, but more than most. He knew dazai was still analyzing and realizing what was going on, and frankly, so was he. He couldn’t believe it, he had heard that dazai was working for the ADA now, but he didn't think it to be true. He was never happier to be wrong.