Black Rose [Regulus Black]

21 - newfound doubts & unexpected invitations

The chairs at the back of the pureblood gatherings were cursed, Alessandra was sure of it, because every time she sat on one, she found out something devastating.

"I'm sorry, could you point him out again? I didn't follow."

Cressida pointed towards Regulus, who was currently talking to Evan Rosier, and Alessandra once again began regretting her decision of eating all that food, because she was starting to feel nauseous again. It probably wasn't even the seating arrangements, it was the very gathering that was cursed; this was probably a sign that she didn't belong in this world.

"Congratulations!" she forced out, the words feeling like they were carving the flesh of her throat. She didn't want to be that kind of person, but something within her instantly flared up, and she felt this deep hatred take over within her. It was unlike anything she'd ever felt before, an all-consuming profound rage, and she realised that she needed to get out now before she did anything stupid. "I'm so happy for you."

That was a lie, no matter how hard she tried to be happy for the kind-looking girl. "Thank you! Excuse me, I have someone I need to meet, I hope to see you around later."

And she gracefully departed, leaving Alessandra behind to boil in anger. An irrational resentment was beginning to grow within her, entering her bloodstream and tinting her vision red. She'd never been the kind of person to feel such extreme emotion; she'd always only felt emotions in moderate amounts, like a little jealousy or a little fear. But this was completely different, she felt like she was about to blow a fuse (metaphorically and maybe even literally), and she didn't like it.

She tried to calm herself down. It wasn't that big of a deal anyways, it wasn't like the world was going to end (although it did feel like hers was collapsing). She and Regulus weren't actually together and he didn't have a reason to tell her that he was betrothed.

But still, why didn't he tell her that? Were they not as close as she thought they were? Was it all just a ruse to get her on his side for some unknown reason? All these conspiracy theories were popping up in her head, clouding the line between imagination and reality, and thoughts she would have called absurd once upon a time now seemed rational.

"Should we leave now, or do you still want to stay?"

She looked up to see him standing beside her, a small smile on his face, and she tried her hardest to gauge how genuine he was. It didn't seem to be a facade, every emotion he displayed and every word he uttered appeared so real, but she wasn't sure anymore. He himself had said that purebloods were used to pretending, so what stopped him from doing it too?

She nodded, plastering on a fake smile as they exited through the door. He started gossiping about all the people over there, telling her who he liked and who he didn't, and she tried her hardest to pay attention but her mind was a million miles away. She was probably overreacting, because he didn't owe her an explanation for everything, but it still stung just a little. It did make a lot more sense though, such as why he was so horrified by the idea of them being together.

It still stung.

⚜

Alessandra squinted as the bleak sunlight filtered through the trees, right into her eyes. The wind wasn't as cold and bitter as it could've been, the skies were clear, and the park was filled with small groups of people chatting and laughing amongst each other. It was such a cheerful atmosphere for such a gloomy day.

She'd have enjoyed the lovely weather if it weren't for her sour mood that continued since yesterday. Granted, it had ebbed from a tempest to a minor drizzle, but more storms were brewing in her head, and she couldn't get over it. She'd known it was foolish of her to have hope that maybe they had a chance together, and that she shouldn't have counted on it, but she still did anyways, and finding out about Reg's betrothal was the final nail in her coffin.