Black Rose [Regulus Black]

66 - schrodinger's cat & sweet mothers

Alessandra's head hurt.

There was too much light for her to open her eyes. Light softly bathing her, light cascading through the invisible windows, light overpowering her vision.

"Turn it off," Alessandra whispered. "God, turn it off."

"I'm glad I didn't have to wake you up every day," a wry voice pierced the silence, and Alessandra's eyes flew open when she realized that she recognized that voice. She rubbed her eyes when she caught a flash of hair as blonde as her own, because it couldn't be...

"But it is me," Dabria Rosier chuckled and Alessandra sat up, understanding slowly dawning on her. Her mother was dead, and if she was in the same place as her mother... it meant she was dead.

She groaned and fell backwards, covering her eyes as devastation filled her heart. She'd known she was going to die, of course, but a small, irrational part of her had hoped till the end that she would make it somehow.

"Come on, up now," Dabria pulled her up by the elbow and cradled her face in between her palms. "Oh, my beautiful child..." Tears sprang to Alessandra's eyes when her mother hugged her, and she nearly sagged because it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her soul when she entered her mother's embrace. "Don't cry, or I will too!" Alessandra noticed the way her mother's voice also went high-pitched towards the end when she was on the verge of tears, just like herself.

"This is your fault," Alessandra blurted out and then shut up, cursing herself for voicing that thought of hers out loud. Her mother did not seem angry though.

"I do wish I'd handled things differently," Dabria said thoughtfully. "I wish I hadn't let Tom in the house to begin with. Maybe then he wouldn't have gotten his hands on you, although he wouldn't have stopped at anything to get you."

"He said he didn't know I was his daughter."

"He lied," Dabria shrugged. "And he played the game damn well. Nobody, not you or I or even his lieutenants knew that he knew. He was clever, but you, my dear, were cleverer. Good job on that, by the way."

She didn't feel like she'd done a good job at all.

"Anything else you wished you'd handled differently?" she asked.

"I would say that I wish I hadn't let Pyrrhus agree to the Blacks' marriage contract, but it did work out brilliantly for you in the end, didn't it?" Alessandra blushed as her mother smiled knowingly at her.

"I wouldn't say dying and leaving him with no closure as a brilliant ending."

Dabria looked surprised. "Dying? My dear, you aren't dead. Quite the opposite, in fact. Once you leave here, you are going to experience life in its true glory."

"What?"

"You aren't dead."

"But- but what? What do you mean?" Was it possible for her to have a headache when she was dead (or rather, not dead)? Why was this so confusing?

"I thought you'd have been happier at the thought of returning back to life."

"So I'm not dead... but I'm not alive either."

"Like Schodinger's cat, I believe," Dabria winked. "I did use that right, didn't I? I only remember you hearing about it when you were ranting about how annoying Physics was when you were seventeen."

"I think it was Schrodinger," Alessandra said slowly. She was still not able to process what was going on.

"Pah! Same thing."

"I'm not dead? I'm going to go back?"

"Yes."

"Is this- is this the Devil's way of welcoming me into Hell?"