We Broke

s i x

I sleep back on the streets, carrying a yellow backpack full of clothes.  I find a restroom at the park and get changed.  

I enjoy the feeling.  Getting changed.

The street feels normal, and my body instantly relaxes.   

This is my home.

As much as I wanted to accept Julie's invitation to stay the night, I couldn't. 

They already had done so much for me, and I didn't have anything I could do for them.

During the weekends, I stayed mostly in the alleyway, reading one of my textbooks.  Hell, it was boring, but I couldn't stop myself.  I was learning.

I head back to school on Monday, the skies grey.

The hallways were deadly quiet, when I entered.  

The intercom shook.  "Good morning, students. There is an emergency assembly today." 

Students started to sob quietly.

What had happened?

I walked over to the multipurpose room, using the small school map Julie had lended me.

I spotted Julie.  Her face was ashen as well.

"What happened?"  I whispered.

"Someone died."  she said, her eyes red.  "We don't know who it is.  It was on the news.  Someone from our school.  Everyone's freaking out.  There's a bunch of people absent so we don't know who it is."  

I gasped.  This was bad.  

We sat in the back seats and the principal walked up.

"I'm sure that you have heard the news today.  Yesterday morning, Samuel Caddell, sadly passed away, due to a tragic car accident..."

The whole room was silent.  

No one cried.  

But after one girl started to sob, the whole auditorium was littered with sniffles.  Boyfriends comforting their girlfriends.

Not a lot of people knew Sam.  Just the thought that...

I didn't hear the rest of the principal's speech.   I couldn't.  I was in total shock.  

I had seen him only a few days ago.  

And he had spat at me.

I wanted to feel nothing.  I wanted to feel no emotion.  

But I felt sadness.  The despair when I had lost my parents. 

He was the last shred of my past.

And now he was gone.

The day went by in a blur.  I didn't respond to anything.

I felt like a zombie.

The teachers were a little more understanding, letting us have more freetime.

But Peter still walked up to me and handed me a notecard with his address.  

Figures.

I had sat through lunch and was about to leave when the intercom sounded again.

"Will Charlotte Barlowe come up to the office please?" 

Julie gave me a tired grin.  "Oooh!  What did you do this time?"

My eyes rolled.  "Oh please, I've only been here for 2 days."

 But I walked up to the office, a little nervous. 

By then, shock had worn off a little.

The principal shook my hand.  "Hello, Charlotte."

"Hi," I replied, a little confused on why I had been called up.

"As you know, Sam Caddel passed."  he started.

Yes, I know. 

"This is a little unusual, but he asked me to give you this a few days ago.  I never had the time, but I remembered."  the principal said, handing me a white envelope.

I raised an eyebrow. 

I took the envelope and spun on my heel, walking away, slamming the door behind me.

Running towards the girls bathroom, I locked myself in the stall, sitting on the toilet.

I opened the loose envelope.  I pulled out a check and a note.

2,000 dollars.

My eyes bulged.  Two thousand?

That was a lot of money.

I read the note quickly, my eyes scanning over, then glassing with tears.

Dear Charlotte,

I've been trying to find you for a long time, and I finally found you at this school.  I don't know why you're here, but this money is yours.  I'm giving it to the principal because I know you want nothing to do with me.  Like you would take a suspicious envelope from me.

My parents stole your parent's law firm after they died.  They earned a lot of money from it and after I moved in with my brother, I started saving it up to give back to you.  This isn't the whole lot, but it's what I have for now.  I'm sorry.

-Sam

My cheeks were wet.  Why?  

Why was I crying?  I hated him.  I hated him so much.  So why did I care?

I stuffed the envelope in my backpack, washing off my face.

I checked the clock.  It was almost 2:00.  I had missed a class.

I stared at the mirror.  

Who was this girl?  She looked gaunt, red eyes, she looked like a monster.

Where had the healthy, bright girl gone?  

Why did my parents have to die?  

Why did I have to break?

Why was I the one punished for it?