But there was something about Charlotte. She wasn't like the most prettiest girl in the world, but anyone with heart could tell that she had a beautiful heart. A heart that could easily be broken. A heart that needed to be protected.
--
Her pare...
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I don't regret what I did.
Call the authorities, I mean, I do regret shooting Charlotte.
I hope she's alive. But she was pretty close. Her heart stopped beating, but the paramedics said to have hope.
I'm in a jail cell. My head is in between my knees. I'm crying. At least, I think I am.
I'll probably be in jail for the rest of my life, for attempted murder. My fingerprints are all over that gun, my parents and their "henchman" fled the scene when they found out that I stole a cellphone from one of their guards to call the police. And paramedics.
I didn't bother leaving. I mean, they'd be searching for me anyways. I'm not even allowed to know how Char's doing. It's something that'll haunt me forever.
If I even see her again, I'd be too ashamed to even look her in the eye. Choosing her over Julie...
I don't regret that decision. Choosing one over the other. I just wish I had killed myself or something. But then both of them would probably be dead.
I stayed with her for 4 minutes before the paramedics came. Her body was lukewarm, getting colder and colder by the seconds, her blue eyes lost the life minute by minute. Her heartbeat slowed and slowed until I couldn't hear it anymore. I closed her eyes for her though, it'd be the least I could do. If she died, she wouldn't have to die looking at the very person that killed her.
But I also closed her eyes for me too. Although I really wanted to see those eyes for the last time, I didn't want myself to feel anymore guilt. Selfish.
I laughed to myself like a psychopath. I am a psychopath.
I don't know what I'm freaking thinking.
My thoughts are messed up by guilt that is messed up by my life. My life can't be this bad. It wasn't this bad a year ago.
Where did it get messed up?
From when my parents killed Char's parents? No. They were still jealous.
From when I was born? Maybe.
I don't think I had a choice to be born in this life. But I did have the choice to change it.
I'm so guilty that I don't feel guilty. It's to the highest level of guilt a person could feel. Killing a friend because you want to save your girlfriend. A friend you already let down once.
Now twice.
I won't even have the chance to make it three.
Why the heck did I even agree to this? Julie will break up with me now that I'm in jail. I killed her friend. She'll think I'm a monster.
I am a monster.
I'm in a cell, receiving the worst looks from guards. It's an ounce of what I really deserve.
