My love | Ashtray Imagines <3

"I dont wanna forget..."

After

Flashbacks of that day kept coming back to him. The image of Blake's dead body in his arms as he cried over her. The imagine of the cops trying to pry him off of her. The feeling of Blake's warm blood that covered his hands from trying to stop the bleeding from her wound. Everything over, over and over again.

And as he slept, the overlapping voices of the police and Blake's voice telling him to let her go filled his mind.

Ashtray sat up with a gasp as tears and sweat ran down his face. He hyperventilated as he felt someone cup his face, turning his head to look at him.

And when he did, relit washed over him with he saw her.

Blake.

"It's okay it's okay.." she whispered as she brought his head to her chest and rocked back and forth slightly.

"I'm here I'm here"

But she wasn't. And he knew that.

"N-no" he stuttered as he cried.

"I'm here don't worry...I'm never leaving"

He pulled and away and when he did....she wasn't there.

This had been happening quite awhile. Every night to be exact.

Today..

Ashtray sat in an uncomfortable chair as he looked down at the ground, refusing to make eye contact with the therapist.

"Ashtray your gonna need to talk to me if I'm going to make you better" the therapist talked softly as she held a pen and paper.

"This may seem hard right now but soon you'll forget and move on with your lif-"

"Maybe I don't wanna get better" ash snapped "cause that means if I get better, I'll start forgetting. And I don't want to forget her. Not in this lifetime.."

"She is gone and your just going to have to accept it. God chose this for a reason.."

Ashtray scoffed slightly, as tears became forming in his eyes "and what was that reason huh? It's obviously the wrong reason. What kind of god would take her away from me!? What kind of god would let a cop shoot her and kill her! Not one that I need that's for sure" ashtrays leg bounced up and down as he fiddled with a ring. And not just any ring, but Blake's "I got everything taken away from me...the only two people I had...gone."

☔︎
Blake sat down next to ashtray as his eyes were glued to the tv that played The Lost Boys.

"Hi ma" he smiled as he pulled Blake into his lap.

"I told you you would like this movie...I'm always right"

Ashtray chuckled before cupping her face and pulling her down to his lips that craved the attention of hers.

☔︎

"I'll never be able to wake up with her in my arms, o-o-or kiss her lips. Or her nose or cheek. I'll never be able to listen to the sound of her heartbeat as her fingers trail up and down my bare back. I'll never hear the sound of her laugh again. Nothing" ashtray was now fully crying

"It will be ok-"

"No it won't be okay because what if after time I'll start forgetting! Forgetting what the sound of her voice sounds like or the feeling of her lips on mine! I'll forget and I don't wanna..." ashtray said the last sentence just about a whisper as he shook his head.

"I don't want to forget.."

Y'all I just made me cry ngl. Don't forget to like and comment. Also give me some ideas on what you would like to read!