𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁 - 𝖼.𝖻

★☆ ! >﹏< 𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗥𝗦 !

"beomgyu, i can't believe we are here together like this." i said looking out our bedroom window to the sun beginning to tuck under the belt of trees.

beomgyu wrapped his arms around my waist and placed a kiss on the crook of my neck before resting his chin on my shoulder. no matter how much we had been dating, my body still fluttered with excitement when he would touch me.

"neither can i. before i met you, i swore i would die a virgin." he said.

i laughed as he chuckled as well. i placed my hands over his and sighed.

"what's next for us, beomgyu? college? work?"

"don't worry about that, soyeon. you and i of all people should live by the motto: live today because tomorrow may never come."

"hmm. you're right, but i've just been wondering. at the beginning of my senior year, i wanted to be something in the medical field, and i still think i want to go down that path."

he turned me around and stared into my eyes. his lips turned into a pout as his eyebrows drew in.

"don't tell me you want to be a surgeon. cause if you do, then i'll never get to see you. they work all day!"

i cupped his concerned face and kissed him on the lips and pulled back to look at him.

"i don't want to be a surgeon. i'm not sure of what i want to do, but i know it's going to be in the medical field. what about you? what do you want to do?"

"i think i might go for law. everything that has happened to my mother, i don't want anyone else to experience that."

"that's really good, beomgyu. i don't know if i ever got to tell you this today, but i'm so honoured to be here with you. seeing your mother and you meet each other after such a long time it seemed like i was watching a disney movie."

beomgyu smiled but his face turned serious almost immediately. his hands found mine and squeezed them. he bit his lips apprehensively before looking into my eyes for a while, wordlessly.

"beomgyu...?"

his eyes polished. a tear slithered out of his eyes and ran down his cheek. his lips trembled letting his sobs escape a bit. every breath he took was shuttering. i felt muddled. had i said something wrong?

"beomgyu-"

"i love you, soyeon, and because of that, i need to tell you something."

"of course. i love you too, beomgyu."

we sat down over our bed and stared at each other. his hands grabbed mine yearningly and reassuringly. beomgyu swallowed nervously before talking. a little knot settled in the center of my stomach. seeing the tears leaving his eyes with the clouding despair over them made me cry as well.

"i don't know when it began, but ever since i can remember, i've been afraid, soyeon. every day, at night, i have these cold sweats. and i know you've noticed how jittery i am at times. i feel like everything is dangerous, but in reality," beomgyu said exhaling tiredly and pressing his eyelids letting the tears flow. "my mind is the biggest danger there is." he said with his voice barely audible.

"nothing terrifies me more than...myself."

i scooted closer and held him in between my arms. hearing him say that while crying was genuinely so woeful and unbearable.

"why do you feel that way, beomgyu? you're, besides my mother, the best person ever. you're nice and have your heart in the right place. you fight for what you want and don't let anything get in your way. you are strong and beautiful, and most of all, you are loved. by me. by the guys. by your mother and father. we all love you, beomgyu."