𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁 - 𝖼.𝖻

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the entire time there, i did not talk to him. if he was around, i made sure i went somewhere else. i did not want to be next to him or breathe around his suffocating and rigid aura. at this point anyone that would see my actions would call me mean and all, but i didn't care. to be treated so poorly by a person "superior", i don't think so. i don't know how things worked in beomgyu's world, but in my world, there was something called respect and humbleness.

the sun was setting. some of the birds had gone silent. i sat on a rock near the lake. my chin resting on the palms of my hands as i looked out into nature. i hadn't spoken to kai. it made me sad. i had gone by his tent a few times, but he was never there only his cousin, soobin. i would go by and he would only give me a half smile before saying, "he isn't here. sorry." and then he would close the tent leaving me with cold guilt.

karma is real my children. too real. even a good person like me can make horrible mistakes. i knew not talking to beomgyu was making me feel better. for the first time in a long time, i was actually sleeping better. if i was exact, i slept outside the tent. i couldn't stand him. even normal humans had a limit.

of course, beomgyu didn't bother to stop me or anything. i could drown in the lake and he wouldn't notice. or fall off a tree and never know i fell. maybe even die, and he still wouldn't care.

i grabbed my bag and started heading back to the tent. along my way, i picked up a few sticks to light a small fire. okay, i was mad at him, but i wasn't going to lower myself to his level of cruelness. i did make him something to eat. if he was hungry, he would wat it, if he wasn't, i couldn't care less.

slowly, i approached our camp spot and began fixing the sticks into the place where we usually held the fire. tomorrow was our last day in the forest. after tomorrow, we would be heading into the mountains. i had never gone hiking and that worried me a bit. the temperatures in the forest would drop so much i would literally freeze at night, and that's because that was in the forest. i did not want to imagine what the temperature would be in the mountains.

i hadn't noticed beomgyu had come back. he noiselessly sat across from me behind the low flames of the fire. like always, i was unable to read his expression.

i did not want to stare at him. so, i got up and looked somewhere else.

"dinner will be ready in a bit."

i said trying to hide the bit of stuttering i had. in these kind of situations, i had the tendency to stutter like a fool and trip and fall over my words. before i could fully disappear inside the tent, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the tent. my back was pressed against the bark of some tree and my eyes met the one and only pair of eyes i so much wished not to see. i turned to look somewhere else. i was really bad at eye contact. horrible.

"look at me."

he said with a subtle stern commanding voice. oh, how i wished the bark would just swallow me into the tree. this is what i was fearing. his eyes buried in mine. their depth was so intense i even felt my breath being held in the middle of my throat. i felt so little below his stare. his entire body casting an opaque shadow over mine. it was dark making him look bigger and scarier.

i didn't say anything and just stared at him. it took him at least two minutes to notice i wasn't going to reply to his sudden actions. beomgyu sighed and backed off a bit. i felt like if my head was pulled out from under water.

"soyeon. listen to me. i said it once and i will say it again. i don't care about you, but you being a completely different person is not helping our situation."

"our?"

he frowned at me befuddled. i. couldn't. believe. this.

"no. beomgyu. it was never our. it was only mine. i was the one who did everything. never did you lift a finger to help me."

i held back my tears and tried to contain my fiery irritation. beomgyu looked at me blankly. i didn't care. he was as blank as a new canvas always anyway.

"you know what? all this time was worth at least something. it taught me a number of lessons. dealing with a low and cruel person like you wasn't all a waste. because of you, i began to appreciate more what little i had. even in the smallest things such as picking up some fire wood."

"soyeon."

"i'm just going to cut it short. since i am not at your level, right?"

beomgyu looked at me as if he was waiting for a bomb to just explode. maybe i had seen wrong when his hands shook a bit. he had so much, yet so little. just like me.

"don't talk to me, beomgyu. and in return, i'll promise something too. i won't bother you. of course, this is an assignment after all. i still have to commit to my teamwork part, no worries about that. but aside from the assignment, don't expect me to come up to you. i'm done. done trying to work with somebody as yourself. i'm sorry it didn't work out between us."

i couldn't stand there a second longer. i curled my fists and trudged to the tent. it felt like if i had to walk miles before reaching it. beomgyu's stare lasering my back.

after dinner, i decided to go to the restroom near all the other tents. when i walked in, there was a bunch of girls huddled in a corner. in the middle of them all, there was one girl sobbing. all her makeup was streaking down her cheeks. i walked to the sink and splashed my face with some water. this odd feeling kept creeping my back though. almost as if that girl had something to do with me. i didn't mind it too much and walked out of the restroom as fast as i could.

the night temperature was beginning to settle in. a lot of coughs headed my way. my eye area along with my forehead felt swollen. this was bad. i couldn't get sick though. not now. not before the mountains.

as i was in the middle of blowing my nose, i saw someone rush out of their tent with a backpack. the person was awfully familiar. it was soobin, kai's closest cousin. his face was masked with worry and his powdery breath was fast. i ran after him.

"soobin! soobin!"

he stopped and turned to look at me with a perplexed frown.

"soyeon?"

"where are you going?"

"nowhere. go back to your tent. it's cold out here. your nose is red."

i blushed and tried not to let him see it, but i wasn't leaving until he told me where he was going.

"soobin, is everything ok?" where are you going with such a packed bag?"

his eyes were full of hesitation. but then he gave in and sighed.

"it's my little cousin. hueningkai. he left since last night and hasn't returned. i'm very worried."

it was as if someone had broken a glass right next to my ear. my eyes widened in fear and i felt my legs shake.

"w-what?"

"i'm going to find him. you go back."

"i'll come with you."

"no. not a chance. it's too cold. you are beginning to get sick. i can see your eyes swelling a bit."

"soobin."

"soyeon. it's ok. kai has been here before. my family and i come to hike often. kai tags along. he's not far. don't worry."

i didn't know if he was lying to me for me to calm down or not, but at the moment i had no other choice but to trust him. i slowly nodded, and he half smiled. his palm was placed over my shoulder and i looked up to meet his eyes.

"don't worry and go back. i'll tell him to go see you first in the morning."

i nodded as he left into the dark forest. the odd feeling activated more than ever in my core. this was not right. it didn't feel right for some reason.

the entire night i couldn't help but shuffle and fight against my intense cough. i had taken a bit of cold medicine my overprotective mother had packed for me. she knew me so well. my immune system sucked and that was the truth. it felt colder than ever. my toes were ice and my body felt like a sculpted ice berg. i hoped for morning to come. and for it to come quick. my body was too weak to hold on to this cold. maybe if i dreamt about summer the harsh weather would vanish. maybe. just maybe.