"Black, you know your true feelings, either hide them or show them"
——
I walk around the school trying to find Eugene. I need someone to distract me, she is the perfect person to do that.
—
After searching half the school I decide to go to the bathroom, I walk in and Gram is there, he stares at me but doesn't say a word. Nobody is in the bathroom with us so I decided to make a conversation
"Hey Gram, do you want to hangout tonight and finish the project? Since it's due tomorrow"
He glanced at me as I spoke but quickly turned away
"I can't, I'm busy tonight" he says without making eye contact with me
"what do you mean your 'busy'? The project is due tomorrow and we haven't finished it yet."
"it's none of your fucking business Black"
"Is that how you should speak to someone you supposedly love so much?"
He turns to me this time and looks me dead in the eyes
"it doesn't seem like you care"
"whats that supposed to mean?"
there's a long pause of silence where Gram seems at a lose for words
"Never mind, I'm leaving"
Gram looks at me once and then walked out of the bathroom
what the hell is his problem? What does he mean that it doesn't seem like I care? the only person I care about is him, why doesn't he realize that?
I turn and face the mirror and see a reflection of a cold hearted person I never wanted to be, but am really a bad person? Am I that bad for shutting someone out so they can be happy?
I look at myself one last time and walk out
——
once I walk out of the bathroom I bump into someone
"oh my god! I'm so sorry!" The person says
then I turn around and realize who it is
"Eugene? I was looking for you"
"Black? I'm sorry I didn't see you, why where you looking for me?"
"it's fine, and since my plans got canceled for tonight, I was wondering if you want to hangout? Not as a date or anything just hangout"
"Yeah sure! Where do you want to go?"
"Do you want to go to a bar?"
"sure! Here's my phone number so you can text me when you want to go"
"I'll pick you up at 8"
"Okay see you!"
I start walking to the main doors to leave, once I get outside I get on my motorcycle and start heading home, the whole drive I can't stop thinking about Gram, I miss him, I want to hangout with him, the only reason I brought up or project was because I wanted to hangout with him, I want to talk to him about all of this but I don't know where to start
once I get home I decide to take a nap, it wasn't supposed o be a long nap but I sleep for 4 hours and it's already 7:40, I quickly get up and put ripped jeans on and a black hoodie, I grab my keys and walk out the door
Once I get to my motorcycle I send Eugene a text asking her where she lives so I can pick her up, she responds quickly with her address and then I get on my bike to head to her place
Once I get to her place I text her that I'm here, she opens the door and she comes walking out, she looks gorgeous, her makeup looks amazing, at school she didn't seem to have makeup on. Right now she looks beyond beautiful.
"stop staring" she says as she starts walking toward me
"I'm not"
"sure you aren't"
"just get on" I say as I roll my eyes
she gets on and I grab her hands and put them around my waist so she can hold on, after I make sure she won't fall, I start driving toward the bar
—
Once we get there I help her off, then get off myself. We start walking to the front and I open the door for her
"aw what a gentleman" she teases
"Shut up"
When we get inside we go sit down at the bar, we both order drinks and shots, once we get our drinks we both take our shots and order more, I wasn't going to get drunk tonight but.. fuck it.
"This place is nice" Eugene slurred
"Yeah?"
We both are drunk but I think she is way more drunk than I am, she must not be able to control alcohol
—
For about an hour Eugene and I drank and talked, we talked about what she liked and what I liked, I tried to redirect the conversation to more stuff about her because I don't tell people personally things..well maybe someone
When we are talking about Eugenes likes and dislikes she seems to be distracted, she is looking at someone and then squints her eyes and then turns back to me
"h-hey Black, isn't that the guy you were talking about the other day?" She points to a guy across the bar
huh? Who is she talking about?
I turn around to see who it is and it's Gram, the asshole said he was busy tonight, then why the fuck is he at a bar? And who the fuck is he with? There is a guy all over him, what the fuck?
i get up from the stool and go straight for the guy, once I reach them I grab the guy by the collar and punch him, he drops the floor in an instant and I jump on top of him, every punch I throw makes me feel the adrenaline I've missed, I see his blood on my hands but I don't stop
"Black stop!" I hear someone yell, but then I hear it again and realize it's Grams voice
I feel Gram grab me by the arm and pull me up, leaving the guy on the floor
"What the fuck Black?"
"No you, what the fuck? You said you were busy tonight? This is what you call busy?"
"It's none of your business Black! Don't act like you wanted to hangout"
"What the hell are you talking about? I literally asked you to hangout! But here you are flaunting yourself around random guys!"
I regret what I said as soon as it came out of my mouth, but it's too late to take it back now,
the side of my face is burning and I realized I got slapped, Gram slapped me.
"Fuck you Black! If you don't like me just say it! Stop messing with my feelings either you like me or you don't! You haven't showed me at all that you have the same feelings for me! So what did you expect me to do? keep following you around like a lost puppy?! I'm done with you Black!"
and with that, everyone goes silent, but even beneath the silence I can hear the last pieces of my heart break
