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my mum picked me up, and we left quickly.

she took me back to the same home i was in this morning.

my memory came back.

she settled me down on the kitchen counter.

"tell me what happened.." she started.

i had to process some words, but then i understood it and started..

"i was in english with marcus, i recognised no other face.."

"mhm.."

"like their faces was blurred. i starting writing this poem, i left it in school"

realisation struck me. fuck.

"baby? are you okay?"

"yes.. as i was saying..."

it bothered me.

"i was writing a poem, and then this gut feeling, i don't know, i realised the person who did this to me was in the same room, i started to write about him, i think he was martinus.."

my mum nodded.

"i started to write about my experience and things like that, until- i don't know, i was just realised something and it overwhelmed me."

"it's okay, you're safe, but- i have a question"

"hm?" i said as my mum hesitated.

"marcus' parents would like to see you, they haven't seen you in so long.."

"i'm not going to them!"

"no no- they would come here."

"oh" i stayed quiet.

"whatever, i'll stay in my room"

"that's okay, but please try to come down and say hello"

"whatever"

i went upstairs and picked out a book to read.







(hours later)

i was in my room.

it was raining.

it was another rainy week for all i know.

i sat on my desk.

i suddenly got déjà vu, i don't know what it was from though. 

i was reading my book as i heard my mum welcoming some people.

i was a bit nervous.

i didn't know whether or not i should go downstairs or not.

i stayed in my room until i heard the door knock.

"hello?" i said, quickly fixing myself.

the door opened to reveal marcus on the other side.

he smiled, and so did i.

"hey.." he said.

"hi"

"my parents would like to um- see you"

"i'll be there soon.."

"okay, can i stay with you?"

i thought at first.

"it's okay... if um- you don't want me to stay-"

"stay please, please" i said.

he looked at me and smiled.

i smiled.

"this reminds me of-"

"what?" i quickly said.

"um- remember?"

i thought about it quickly.

"yeah" i started.

"you do?" he said, sitting up on my bed as he has been laying on it before.

"yeah- i'm, i'll go greet your parents"

"okay, but- could you please stay.. calm?"

"why wouldn't i be calm?"

"doesn't matter.." he said nervous.

i looked at him confused and started to go downstairs as he followed.



the same layout.

my mum sat with his, my dad and his was gone.

and he was there.

"y/n-" Gerd Anne said as she walked up to me, hugging me tightly.

"hey-" i said, still looking at martinus as he looked at me.

those eyes.

everything disappeared.

it was just his eyes.




where am i?

"so- what will you wear?" he talked to me.

i was in my dance clothes, in his bedroom.

in front of his wardrobe i stood, frozen

"y/n.. are you okay?"

"wait; what day is it?"

"um.. it's like january, we came back from tour about a week or so ago?"

my eyes widened.

"did you- kick me out of the house?"

"what are you talking about?"

"it doesn't matter martinus- i'll wear whatever"

he looked at me confused whilst searching for something i could wear.

i sniffed.

"i told you you'd get a cold, here"

he said that before.


somewhere deep in my mind he said that to me.

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