do you ever worry
that one day,
you'll wake up
and, suddenly
all of the brainwashing
and manipulation
that your family,
your parents, media,
society have fed you
since you were born
will suddenly start
effecting you?
like, a switch will flip
and you'll think,
"oh, maybe i wasn't
queer this whole time,
maybe i just thought
i was because i wanted
to be special"?
or "my mental illness
is all in my head.
i need to start
thinking practically"?
or is it just me?
do you ever worry
that you'll get so scared
that you'll convince yourself
that you're not actually
who you are,
that everything was an act,
a performance,
a play that you put on
for show and attention?
and that you're actually
just dramatic?
do you ever get nervous
about the religion
you were raised on?
do you ever worry
that everything that
your family has ever said
to or about you is true
and it's only you that
doesn't know it yet?
do you ever
gaslight yourself
into doubting everything
key and fundamental
about yourself?
or is that just me?
