Winds of change

In too deep

Shizuo woke up and instantly noticed Izaya wasn't there, but before he started to panic, a delicious aroma filled his nostrils as he neared the kitchen, and he grabbed the jeans that Izaya had placed beside him and made his way downstairs into the kitchen.

The informant turned around and grinned. "No wonder you're always so angry. You sleep way too much, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo glared at him, rolled his eyes, and shuffled over, wrapping his arms around Izaya to hug him from behind. Shizuo noticed Izaya flinch and stepped back. "What is it?"

Izaya merely laughed. "Nothing, I'm trying to cook, that's all." Shizuo smiled and hugged him tighter, but Izaya let out a painful grunt and dropped the spatula. Shizuo quickly let him go with great concern. "Now look what you did." Izaya chuckled again and ran the spatula under the faucet.

Shizuo followed his movements, not entirely convinced by the raven's façade. Taking Izaya's hand, he gently turned him around. Izaya was acting weird. "Oi, did I do something wrong? Was last night a mistake?" Shizuo's heart stopped when Izaya looked at him with a sarcastic grin, and for a moment, he honestly thought Izaya would agree, and then...

"If that were true, I wouldn't be making you an omelet."

Shizuo frowned. "Then what's going on?" Shizuo looked at him for a moment. Izaya had reacted to the hug like he was hurt, and Shizuo raised his hand toward Izaya, lifted his shirt slowly, and gasped in horror when he saw dark purple bruises patterned across the raven's small frame just above his hips. Shizuo was mortified. "Did - I do that?" Izaya didn't answer him; they both knew he did. "Damn it... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Izaya, I didn't want to - I never meant to hurt you." Shizuo was so ashamed.

Before Shizuo could try to run, Izaya turned to him and leaned up to kiss him. "Don't beat yourself up over it." The informant brushed it off so casually and wasn't even angry.

Shizuo was shocked. Maybe this was what Tom meant when he said to find someone who wouldn't shun him, but that didn't excuse him. "It won't happen again, I promise." Whether or not Izaya could handle it, it still wasn't right.

Izaya clicked his tongue. "You and I both know you can't make that promise because you can't control it Shizu-chan, and that's okay. Now let me continue cooking before the eggs become inedible." Izaya turned around to finish their omelets without another word.

Shizuo was genuinely shocked. He didn't even know the informant knew how to be compassionate.

Once their breakfast had been eaten, the two sat lazily on the couch, kissing every so often. "Don't you have work?" Shizuo asked after a while.

"Well, if you're taking the weekend off, I'll join you."

Shizuo smiled. "Then I've got question number four for you if that's alright."

"Alright, shoot."

"Last night was the best night of my life, you were my first Izaya," Shizuo said, not caring if he sounded mushy. "Who was yours?" Shizuo didn't think the question was a big deal until Izaya suddenly untangled their hands with narrowed eyes.

"It doesn't matter."

Shizuo didn't realize the question would anger Izaya so much. "It does to me." Now he really wanted to know.

Izaya glared at him and stood up from the couch. "Drop the subject right now." Shizuo followed him into the kitchen, and Izaya turned around to meet the blond's gaze. "When we started to ask questions, I said nothing deep, and you're in too deep, Shizuo, so drop it."

Shizuo was surprised by Izaya's sudden hostility. Why had his first time caused Izaya to react in such a defensive way? Shizuo narrowed his eyes. "Izaya, were you-"