Winds of change

Disappearance

"I think I just killed someone...."

Shizuo looked at Izaya in shock. Did he hear that right? Shizuo placed his hands on his shoulders and guided him into the apartment. "Come on, get inside." Izaya allowed him to lead him toward the bedroom. "Maybe you should change. I might have some clothes that'll fit yo-" Izaya pulled back from him before he could finish.

"I need to shower."

Shizuo let his hands fall to his side. Izaya was quiet, but who would blame him? "Right, go ahead, I'll get you a towel." Shizuo turned into the bathroom.

Izaya's voice was blunt and indifferent. "I know where they are."

Izaya barely looked at him. Was he expecting him to be angry? Did he think he would blame him? Shizuo's eyes trailed over Izaya's body, unsure whether the blood was all someone else's or... "Are you hurt? Do you need-"

"I'm fine. I just want to shower." Izaya opened the small built-in cupboards inside the bathroom, turned to Shizuo, and shoved him outside. "I'll be right out." Then the door was shut.

Shizuo stared after him; had Izaya really killed someone? He had left no more than an hour before Izaya got here, so what happened in such a small space of time? Shizuo found a slightly tight-fitting shirt and some dark loose pants. These will have to do, I guess.

Shizuo stood still for a moment. Izaya was manipulative, cunning, and annoying, but Shizuo had come to learn that he was also other things, respectful - in some ways. Lonely, jealous, afraid, happy, he could be compassionate and gentle, all those normal human emotions he hadn't thought Izaya possessed until he got to know him better. Something terrible happened for someone like Izaya to have no choice, and Shizuo frowned, clenching his fists because the thought scared him. Fuck, he should have never left him alone. "Shit."

Taking the clothes with him, Shizuo knocked on the bathroom door. "I found some clothes." He waited for a response, and the door opened with a big enough gap for Izaya to fit his hand through and take the clothes. Shizuo was about to ask if he was okay when the door shut once more, and he sighed.

...........................

Shizuo handed Izaya a strong tea and sat beside him on the couch. Izaya looked better than when he first showed up, but he was withdrawn. "What happened?"

Izaya took the mug from him. "It doesn't matter."

Was he being serious? No, don't get mad. Just be here for him. Shizuo sighed and sat back with his head inclined.

The blond tilted his head when Izaya placed his half-empty mug on the coffee table and finally looked at him. Izaya's eyes averted as he shifted over and curled himself against Shizuo's side, laying his head on the top of his chest. Shizuo stared down at him and wrapped his arm around Izaya's shoulder. "I'm here, Izaya."

..................................

Late in the evening, the two were lying in bed. Izaya kept his distance, and Shizuo let him. He had no idea what was going through the other's head, but he would not force anything from him. Shizuo had learned to wait until Izaya was ready to talk. Did no one see anything, hear anything? Where was Izaya for this to have happened in the first place?

Shizuo looked over at his sleeping lover – no, not sleeping. Izaya lay awake, eyes fixed on the ceiling above them. "It's kind of your fault."

Shizuo frowned. "How so?" At first, he didn't think Izaya would say anything else.

"For leaving me in the club alone."

Shizuo turned his head to look at the ceiling. Maybe that was true, but regardless, he wouldn't be the only one who took the blame, even though he felt incredibly guilty. "Well, that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for your ridiculous behavior."