Mistake Of The Night

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Nawal tossed in bed but still, she's unable to close her eyes not to talk of falling into a deep slumber that will make her forget all the sorrows of her life, the bed is big and whenever she stared at his place and find it empty, her heart breaks into pieces, did he despise her that much, he can't even share a bed with her or did he think she is the reason why he is no longer with Hoorain?.

Nawal cried and cried, she cried for all the pain, she couldn't tell her Lord but the pain is still there, maybe just maybe she has to hold on to that prayer and exercise patience especially when she remember the ayah that said "Fa'inna Ma'al Usri Yusrah" but could she endure the pain for too long?.

She tried again for the last time but it's like she is just forcing herself because how can she when the person she yearns to be in his arms, cuddling in bed together is far away from her probably thinking about his ex wife.

She told Aisha that she is ready for this or was she lying to herself all this while?.

Nawal can clearly remember the day, Aisha called her before the Nikkah was knotted and asked her if she is ready for the marriage.

"Are you ready for this marriage?." Aisha questioned.

Nawal was taken aback because of Aisha's question for she doesn't even know whether if she is ready for it or not, it took her some couple of minutes before she answered.

"Yes I'm ready." Nawal answered.

Aisha looked at Nawal and smile sadly because the girl doesn't even know what she want for herself, she is just blinded by love.

"Nawal I don't know what you're thinking but listen to your heart first, listen to your heart so that you will not make a mistake of staying with the man that his heart is already with someone else"

"Don't get married because you're in love with him, don't get married because it's the best thing to do, don't get married because your heart wants to, don't get married because of your friends, family or relatives rather get married because of yourself, because the man you want, loves you also and he is willing to spend the rest of his life with you and I hope you will listen to your heart even if it is once in your life."

Aisha didn't let Nawal replied her before she left and now as Nawal stared at this lonely hours of the night.

She doubt if she listen to her heart just like Aisha asked her to do in the first place, she is just blinded by love and not ready for that journey of love and sacrifice, she buried her head as she soaked her pillow with tears, for once, Faruk didn't glance her way and it hurt to know that he is just treating her like a trash, he is just clinging to the woman that left him, it hurt to see him staring at her picture and he didn't care that she is hurt by his action or not.

Where was the Faruk that promise her a lifetime of love and protection?.

Where was the Faruk that said he will rather be in pain than to see her tears?.

Where was the man she fall in love with the very first time she bumped into him?.

Where was the man that snatched away her the living soul in her just because he said he want to be her forever?.

A big potrait of him and her was placed in the living room, they all looked happy and Nawal doubt if she will ever get that love or experience that happiness with him.

It pains her to know that he is the reason to her pain because whenever she remembered that he is the one that inflicted that pain in her, she develop a kind of hatred and she don't want that pain to make her hate the person she love with all her life.

Nawal was soo lost that she didn't even hear his movement or when he entered her room, he was looking at her deadly in the eyes without battling an eyeslash.

"What do you want?." Nawal said as he came close to her.

"You know what I want," Faruk said in a dangerously low tone, she clearly understand what he meant but she is not ready yet, she only want to give in when he really want her not the exact opposite.

Faruk kept coming closer. "What are you doing?." She asked in a shaky voice.

"You know exactly what I'm doing."

She moved closer to the edge of the bed but Faruk was faster than her, her heart was beating very fast, she was taken aback by his swift action, before she could run, he held her by the waist firmly, his gaze pierced into her's, her heart was beating profoundly making her chest move up and down.

"I....I....am not ready Faruk." Nawal stuttered.

"And I couldn't take No as an answer." He said.

Nawal gulped hard, this was not the Faruk she know, this was not the person that promised her love till eternity, this new Faruk is a monster, she is living with a monster and she had no idea.

This was it, there is no going back and this will happen sooner or later.

She gulped hard, she closed her eyes tightly, she nodded her head giving in her consent and then, things started happening quickly, he captured his lips on her's violently while his hands moved roughly all over her body, she was trying to catch her breath and was trying to let Faruk know that he was going too fast but it didn't seem like he understood.

He was moving very fast and was hurting her at the process, she wished he will look into her eyes to see the fear in them but he was lost in what he was doing, this wasn't how she planned her first time to be, she imagined it to be something memorable with the person she love, something she will smile whenever she remembered it with the love of her life but that dream happens to be something that will never come true in her life and that is how she lost to the only person she thought will protect her from the dangers of this world.











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