Please let me explain

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I tossed and turned all night... I rolled over and saw the clock said 6am. I push the covers off me and slip on my t shirt and some shorts. I quietly made my way down the stairs and I look over to see a sleeping Jensen on my couch. I told him he didn't have to stay multiple times but he didn't want me being alone he is really a great friend. I walked into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee then I walked out to where my back yard and sat under the twinkle lights and waited for the sun to come up.
(Backyard inspiration)

I was trying to not let my mind think but I couldn't stop thinking of Chris

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I was trying to not let my mind think but I couldn't stop thinking of Chris. I just don't understand why he would tell me he cares and then just sleep with someone. I felt a few tears slip on my face. I wipe them away and I felt my phone ding. I look at the text.

"AJ! I took care of the press and the photos!" -Andy

Then she sent me another text.

"You do have a red carpet press interview with Chris tonight at 9pm dress nice and don't be late." -Andy

I threw my head back and put my hands over my face. I sat my phone down and grabbed my coffee and took a sip. I am already dreading seeing Chris. But I am a professional I act for a living the least I could do is act the part right. Shouldn't be too hard at least I hope not. I heard my back door open and I look up to see Jensen walking over to me.

"I went to check on you and then I saw you out here mine if I join?" He asks I scoot over and pat next to me.

"We use to do this. Remember?" He asks leaning into me

"Watching the sunrise with you Jared and Misha? Yeah! It's so calming and with everything happening yesterday I figured it would help plus I didn't sleep good." I say and look back to where the sunrise is going to be

"Well is sitting here helping?" He asks and I turn back to him

"No. Not really." I said and felt tears in my eyes

"Ave." Jensen goes to say something but I stop him

"I just hate that I'm losing my best friend again. I knew I shouldn't have let my heart feel this again." I say

"AJ it isn't your fault. If he really cared then he would be here fighting for you. Trying to call you or fix you guys." Jensen says he makes me look at him and places both hands on the side of my face "AJ you deserve someone who would cherish every second with you. Who will make you laugh when you are sad or laugh when you are happy. You just deserve the world you hear me and if Chris isn't up for it then it's time to find someone who is." He says and I felt a few tears fall in my cheek and he wipes them away and pulls me into his chest and I just lay there and cry.

After we watch the sun come up we walk into the house and I make us some breakfast. We were talking about his next job opportunity

"Well I think you should take it jay!" I say cracking eggs

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