Broken soul(Hanji x Mreader)

Feelings

Y/N'S POV

As I left Eren in the dungeon I began to remember all of the people I cared about... their smiles... their laughs..... and their deaths; I began to slowly make my way back to the exit still thinking about their deaths and how I dealt with their deaths. I thought about how I pushed the people who tried to help me away.... I know it sounds like I'm some kind of broken record.... but tell me.... how would you deal with the loss of your friends and loved ones.

I then felt a sharp pain in my ribs. I leaned against the wall in case I fell down, after all it's best to be safe than sorry. I knew the reason why my ribs hurt; but it was best if I didn't think about it right now. I continued to make my way towards the exit, stopping every now and then regain my strength.

When I got there I gave the guard the key's to the dungeon and the key to Eren's cell 'I'm Second Commander Y/N I'm leaving the HQ. These are the key's to the dungeons and the key to Jeager's cell. Please take him some food and water' I said to her and left before she could even say anything or protest.

As I got on my horse I began to think of how I would work and my plans for the day.... which lock myself up in my office, work all day, reflect on my life, think about my life's choice's and think about the future. This is what I did every day of my life, I mean what else was I supposed to do?

As I walked towards the Surveys Corp's HQ in the village I began to wonder what happened to the first HQ that was somewhere in a forest. I wonder there if it's still there, I was thinking of going there when I felt another sharp pain in my ribs.

I suspect that they might be either broken or fractured. I tried to take my mind off today's incident.... but then again you're brain can't forget something; it's actually impossible, especially when you're young and healthy. I was again snapped out of my thoughts when the pain came back.

I took a few slow and deep breaths, once the pain was gone I continued to walk towards my office. Instead of thinking about my past or my future I thought about Eren's..... What will happen to him? How did he obtain his Titan power's? Are there more people out there with this power?

And if there were more.... then could that be the reason why wall Maria fell? Was it because someone wants mankind to fall? I may never know.... or maybe I will.... you never know what might happen in life.

I soon made it to my office and got inside before I locked it I felt the urge to cough. I thought that after I had stopped coughing blood, but I was wrong. After a minute of coughing I began to cough blood out; I immediately put my hand over my mouth to make sure I didn't get the floor even move dirty.

I soon began to feel the blood on the palm of my hand fall. I immediately made my way towards my desk and grabbed a handkerchief, I put it over my mouth and waited to see if I was going to cough any more. Thankfully I didn't; I then cleaned my mouth and my hand.

I soon realized I hadn't locked my door, but before I could even get up someone slammed the door open. I was about to kick that person out of my office when I realized who it was... it was Hanji.

'Hanji. What are you doing here? Is there something wrong?' I asked as my voice began to sound worried. 'I hope she's okay' I thought to myself.... she was someone very special to me, even though I didn't show it for the past 5 years. And pushed those feelings away.

'Yes I'm alright' she said in her usual sweet and energetic tone of voice. However she soon realized that I had my hood on, while being in my office 'Why do you have your hood on Commander Y/n?' she asked concerned 'Are you alright!?!?' she asked as her voice was now full of worry.

I didn't want her to see my face right now.... even though I myself haven't seen it. But I imagined it looked pretty nasty 'Yes Hanji I'm fine' I said in a serious yet calm tone.