Slow burn PART 2

Chapter 62 (Renzo's POV)

        I've never had my skin crawl so much in my life. Every hour, no, every minute I spend in Kat's apartment the more I feel this unbearable tension. We exchanged some heavy words the other day. Things have been left unsolved. That's already uncomfortable enough. 

I don't know where I stand with this girl, and it's fucking getting to me. Kat tried speaking my words back to me and I cringed at them. I didn't even want to go back to that lame insecurity of knowing that if Kat doesn't need me... there isn't much keeping her here.

        To get out of having that uncomfortable discussion I took the dickish way out and reminded Kat she had an essay to write. And she did. She turned away from me and started writing again. She's been working on it for the last several hours. She mutters to herself sometimes to read what she's written and then she edits here and there.

Even though I'm trying to act like I'm not paying any attention to her, all I've actually been doing is being completely and totally aware of every breath she takes, every finger that moves when she types. She's all I can goddamn think about. 

        Why did I think it was going to be completely fine if I slept over here tonight? I haven't touched this girl in weeks. I haven't fucked in weeks. I'm so sexually frustrated I don't think I can survive a night here with her. All I keep thinking about is grabbing her and having her every which way.

I miss her taste, her touch, and everything in between. Fuck. I hate myself when I'm like this, but I fucking want her right now. Badly. I can't concentrate on anything else. 

Now that it's getting late it's becoming increasingly obvious that we need to discuss sleeping arrangements. I don't think I fit on this couch. It's more like a love seat and I am not love-sized.

        As if Kat read my mind, she had gotten up to put her stuff away and when she popped back out she looked at me and got all squirmish. "Um, I doubt you fit on the sofa. Sleep on my bed" she offered. But is she offering that I join her in bed or is she offering to sleep on the couch and I take her bed? 

I don't know which I prefer. Well, I do. I wanna be in the same bed, but I will not be able to keep my hands away. I want to devour this girl right now. All I see is her full lips moving, her ass in those leggings, and those eyes that look at me so innocently, and yet so sexily.

        I forgot that I hadn't said anything. I was just staring at the girl. I cleared my throat and fixed myself on the sofa. What do I say? What should I fucking say? "Alright" was all I managed to get out. That sort of leaves the decision open to her instead of myself. She didn't say 'switch' she said 'sleep on my bed'.

I got up and grabbed the overnight bag I had packed for myself. I have my sweatpants in there. I did bring a t-shirt to sleep in, but evil thoughts began to fill my mind. I remember her reaction at the B&B when she couldn't tear her eyes away from me. I want to tempt her, but how pathetic to have to plot on your own girlfriend so she can want you again? It's too desperate.

        When I walked in the bathroom to brush my teeth I just took a good long look in the mirror. Pathetic Renzo. I shook my head and finished what I needed to do. I didn't think twice about changing in Kat's room where my sweatpants were. 

She's seen me naked. I don't think briefs are gonna kill her. She had already changed into her sleeping clothes a little while ago, so she was busying herself with grabbing for extra pillows and things. She stopped completely when I started to underdress. When I bent down to grab for the sweatpants I glanced at her and she blushed and snapped her head away.

"Are you sleeping here too?" I found myself asking. She fidgeted with the pillow, but didn't turn back to face me.

        "Um, I wasn't sure, um..." she trailed off. She wants to know what I think. Or she's having the same internal struggle I am. To stay away or not to stay away? "It's stupid to sleep a part. We've shared a bed plenty of times" I shrugged this off as no big deal. She studied me for a second then shrugged too.