Slow burn PART 2

Chapter 12

        My heart was pumping this entire time I was hosting the world's most awkward and tense cocktail hour. My nerves were shot. I was trying to smile at everyone and I felt like I was frozen that way in some wild clown-like smile I couldn't unfreeze. 

I'm trying to be civil. I am trying to rise above Vittoria's low blows. There was a time in my life where I was a sweet kind girl who diffused any situation with more kindness, not harsh words. I want to be that girl again. 

Knowing Renzo and having dealt with some pretty dark stuff over the course of the past few months has made me meaner, or...I don't know how to put it, but I miss that kind girl. She would try to remain good hearted and find an understandable reason why someone like Vittoria was acting out this way.

    Maybe she had feelings for Renzo at some point and it hurts her as much as it hurts me to be face to face with his lover. I never considered it from her side when I asked for all of us to meet. Maybe she's being hostile because she misunderstood the gesture and thinks she has to keep up with me. 

She might think I'm only playing docile and really I'm setting her up. I'd like to believe it is for a reason other than her just trying to be cruel. Why do people like to purposely hurt one another? I've never understood that.

        Things have been tense and awkward because whenever Vittoria opens her mouth she is speaking on things that would make me uncomfortable, but really all she's doing is pointing out a truth all of us have been trying to ignore. Her and Renzo do have a past. 

They talk about Italy and she remiencese on the time Renzo took her virginity. It stung me to hear it, it stung me when I saw Renzo wasn't denying it. It made the threat of this long term fling even firmer in tact for me. 

He took her virginity. They've shared some special moments together no matter how long ago they were. Vittoria is beautiful. She's gorgeous really, and she's sexy without trying, and she's everything you think Renzo would want. A girl who can keep up with his fire.

       When Vittoria asked me to show her where the bathroom was I figured she probably has malintentions, but I wouldn't let her get the better of me. When Renzo blurted out that she already knows where everything is, the implication of her being familiar with this apartment hung in the air between all of us. 

What hurts is that I barely know where anything is because I'm never here. I can count on one hand how many times he's invited me into his home. But Vittoria knows. I think I stepped into something deeper than the puddle Renzo tried to make of it. 

        He's barely spoken a word tonight, and when he does its always to her in hushed voices spoken entirely in Italian. He said one thing to me. He told me I looked pretty, and it felt really good until it melted behind all the other stuff piling over it. 

Melted honey colored eyes. Vittoria was looking at me while I held an arm out to motion for her to walk out of the dining area first.

        I could see Renzo's eyes following us. I just don't know who he was trying to look at. I think he's looked at her about double the amount of times he's even glanced at me. She's an eye-catching woman. I know that. I know her beautiful little black dress is alluring, and her foxy eyes make her gaze hard to ignore. 

But every time I glanced at them when we were on the sofa, they were looking at each other, and it soured my gut. He probably doesn't even realize how much and how obviously he is doing it. We all see them, which is an even bigger slap in the face for me. 

Everyone is watching Renzo and Vittoria, and they are watching each other.

        When Vittoria walked past where she should have turned for the bathroom I tapped her to stop her. "Oh, it's right there," I pointed out. The girl bit her heart-shaped full lip and looked at me with something maleficent in her eyes.