In Love and Diplomacy

Chapter Forty-Three: Albatross

"Baby, you were the love of my life
Woah, maybe you don't know it's lost 'til you find it
It's not what I wanted, to leave you behind
Don't know where you'll land when you fly
But, baby, you were the love of my life"

- Harry Styles, "Love of My Life"

Chapter Forty-Three

I'm free to go.

I sat. I didn't move.

I was free to go.

I reviewed the facts. The shooter was in custody. Greystone was conducting an internal investigation. Cruz would help the investigation at the AG's office. The immediate threat to me was gone. I didn't need to be protected anymore.

I was free to go.

A million thoughts slammed into every particle of my being.

Reed. D.C. Rolo. Moving. Baro's team. Reed. Kennedy. Wedding. Oliver. D.C. I could go home. Where was my home? Rolo. Reed.

And then I was looking at Reed. Reed, whose beautiful green eyes were pointedly looking up. Reed, who it was time to say goodbye to. Reed, who I never got the courage to ask for.

More facts. I'd get my phone and my laptop back. I'd get my car. I'd happily get my dog. Soon, I'd head to D.C., and I'd try to salvage my job and career.

Soon, I'd say goodbye.

Suddenly, it didn't feel like I was a lioness anymore. Suddenly, my brain wasn't able to form complete thoughts. Suddenly, I felt numb.

Reed's chest rapidly swelled and deflated, and those radiant green hues finally fell and met mine. And I saw a million glints of a million thoughts in those eyes, too. But then he blinked, his lashes gracing his cheeks for just a moment too long before his gaze finally greeted mine again. And I wanted to cry—but I couldn't find the tears.

There was only the bitter taste of an imminent goodbye on my tongue.

"Let's get your stuff, Avery," he muttered.

He stood, helped me up, and led me out of the room. I didn't say goodbye to Cruz or Quentin. The police would contact me if they wanted to follow up, and I'd eventually reach out to Cruz. I would need closure for that side of things, but there was another type of closure I was more focused on right then.

A type of closure I didn't want.

Reed and I were silent as he led me to a room of boxes. He handed me my phone, laptop, and watch. Maybe Simon had brought it all back with him from the safehouse.

It was quiet as Reed led me downstairs. As he led me to his car, and pulled my bags out. As I pulled my car keys out of my bag, and he led me to a lot behind Greystone. He walked me to the little white car I called mine. The one I would get in, the one that would carry me away from him. It was quiet as he put my bags in the trunk and turned to me.

I hadn't said goodbye to anybody. Not to Beck or Simon. Not to Gabby or Julian. But this one, the one I dreaded most of all, I couldn't escape. I couldn't escape Reed's goodbye.

Both of us stared, blank-faced. Both of us had no idea what to say or what to do. We'd both known how it'd end—we always had. But maybe neither of us had expected it to be soon, so sudden, so absolutely soul-crushing.

"Where are you going to go?"

I didn't need to think about it.

"Kennedy's. It's time to get my dog. If she'll let me, I'll stay the night." I avoided looking at him, gazing over my car. "Then I'll call Baros. Figure out my next steps."