Chasing Dreams (Discontinued)

Chapter 260: The Trial

I consider myself to be very fortunate. But sometimes, I wonder, do I deserve all of this? I've hurt many people in my past life. My family is responsible for causing more pain and suffering than any other noble house. Knowing that, do I have the right to stand before the world and call myself its hero?

Some may say it doesn't matter, but it does for me. My father taught me that there is more to being a hero than just saving people. Anyone can do that, and just because you save someone that doesn't mean you're a good person. Heroism is also about character and perspective. A hero to some may be a villain to many. So, where does that leave me?

The signs point that I'm destined to end a feud that has lasted a millennium. Knowing that, sometimes I wonder if my father ever saw the bigger picture, the power the Blackwoods entrusted us with was far beyond the scope of a single individual. Fulfilling the wishes of our ancestors means ending our family's long legacy of combatting the night.

When I consider our purpose, sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing. Is war the only way to end the conflict, or is there another way I've yet to consider? I often wonder if Homura was perplexed with the same dilemma when I think of the past. I've considered speaking to her, but I'm worried that if I do, I might end up agreeing with her.

"Do you like singing?" Diwa asked.

Manasa lifted her head from her journal and stopped writing. She paused for a moment and allowed the question to simmer. "I haven't tried it." She answered. "Why do you ask?"

"You hum when you write," Diwa observed. "I thought perhaps you might be scared to let your voice out."

Upon hearing Diwa's observation, Manasa blushed. "That was careless of me. I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you."

"You don't have to apologize," Diwa said with a small laugh. "I don't mind the humming. I just want you to be more comfortable."

"I'm comfortable." Manasa said with a small smile.

Diwa read Manasa silently. She noticed her hand twitch and frowned. "You look tense."

"I'm fine, Master." Manasa said softly.

Diwa didn't believe her. "What's wrong, child? You look like you're about to defecate on my chair. I'll be honest I'm a very patient woman, but if you shit on my furniture even I will get angry."

Manasa quickly snorted. She liked Diwa's sense of humor, as dry as it could be at times. Her master came to her side putting her hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong? You can tell me is it something Leon did or are you scared about the trial?"

"Both," Manasa admitted.

"Leon is very kind to me. He compliments me all the time and calls me beautiful." Manasa said in a voice so low it almost sounded like a whisper. "But, I can't help but wonder if he truly means it or if it's a ploy to gain my trust."

Manasa picked up her journal and continued writing. She didn't know how Diwa would feel knowing that she didn't trust her son. So Manasa threw herself into her writing, feeling more comfortable confronting her warring thoughts than Diwa's potential wrath.

She felt Diwa lean in closer.

"Why don't you trust Leon?" Diwa asked.

"I don't know." Manasa frowned. "Well, that isn't true. I do know but I'd rather not say."

"You're a free woman my Adarna. You can speak freely to me."

"Are you sure?" Manasa raised a brow.

Diwa waved, giving her permission.