Chasing Dreams (Discontinued)

Chapter 220: A Dark Existence

Ren and Manasa huddled together in the confines of the prison cell. Ideally, a holding cell wasn't the best place to vent. But Ren didn't have any other choice. He led himself here. He had plenty of opportunities to sit Manasa down and explain everything, but he prolonged their chat, believing the truth would fracture their bond.

"Are you sure about this?" Ren asked. His voice was cool like the night. "Once I tell you the truth there is no going back. I can't make you forget what happened. I won't be able to shield you from the darkness lingering in your heart."

Manasa silently nodded. She didn't see a shred of happiness on Ren's face. He wore an apathetic look as if his emotions were completely drained.

"Sometimes ignorance is bliss," Ren told her. "Ignorance is a bubble that shields your innocence. It acts as a veil that preserves your happiness."

Ren reached out and felt Manasa's cheek. He wanted nothing more than to see her smile again, and he worried that after hearing everything, her smile would never return.

"Manasa, you can spend decades preparing yourself but you'll never be ready. Time is pointless when facing the truth." Ren lowered his hand and tightened it into a fist. He slowly brought it to Manasa's chest and lightly struck her heart. "Think of the truth as a spear. When the truth is told it is thrown at a godly speed that no form of training can prepare you to repel it. However..."

Ren opened his hand and tapped Manasa's heart with his finger. "Through strengthening your will you can withstand the pain that follows."

"I would like to believe you are greater than me. But in many ways, I can see your similarities to me, and your similarities to Ikumi. Not just in appearance but in spirit too."

Ren brought his arms together. He stared at his steel chains. He was imprisoned physically and spiritually. Even if his sentence was destined to end, who knows how long his spirit would remain as Mei's lone prisoner.

"I want to guide you as Ikumi guided me. When I learned the truth about my lineage I felt lost. I didn't know who I was anymore or how to identify myself. Who was I supposed to be? Was I Ren Wolfe, or Renji Fujiwara, I didn't know, but now I do and I know Renji Tachibana sits somewhere in the middle. Ikumi helped me realize that. Not only her, Ma, Pa, Erica, and Maija too. They were all essential in me figuring out my place in the world."

"I don't want you to be like me," Ren said honestly. "I want you to be better than me. I don't mean I expect you to have everything sorted out. I know you are bound to stumble and question your purpose. But I have so many regrets. All because I chose to channel my longingness into something negative."

"When I found out I was Irene's son and her prophesied king I was so angry. I spent my entire life working towards one goal, to become a hero to improve Natsumi's life. So when I learned my mother was a criminal and I was destined to destroy the thing I wanted to be, well, it broke me."

"I fought so hard to be accepted. It wasn't easy earning everyone's trust." Ren managed to crack a smile. "If you ever ask Suzume I'm sure she'll tell you she did not like me when we first met. She hated me. She thought I was full of it, and she wasn't wrong. I was very arrogant, and in some ways I still am."

"I won't judge you off of your faults." Manasa interrupted. "Everyone has them. Nobody is perfect, not even you, but what is important is being the best people that we can possibly be."

"Oh?" Ren looked a little surprised. "How wise. It sounds like Maija has gotten to you."

"Mausi has had me in her grasp since the beginning." Manasa admitted. "My first memories are with her. I can't imagine a life without her in it."