TW for implied SH and panic attacks
I don't know what to do. My hands are shaking. My arms are bleeding. My hands are clawing at my hair. My phone is vibrating a few feet away. She's calling me again; my bitch of a mother. I ignore it and just continue breaking down. Why does this have to happen? Maki would know what to do. Wait, Maki. Where is she? She left over an hour ago. She said she'd be gone 10 minutes. What if something's happened to her?
"Shuichi, I'm home," I call out as I enter our apartment, "sorry I took so long, the stupid manager kept me back." No response. I turn around and see him. His hands are shaking and his hair's a mess. He's rocking back and forth, muttering to himself. There's dried blood on his jacket's sleeves. His phone is on the table, vibrating. I check the caller ID. "Mom". Oh. From what he's said, his mom's kind of an ass. I answer and an angered voice comes through- "FINALLY! Took you long enough! What, were you too busy with that "boyfriend" of yours? I bet he's just as stupid as you, thinking he's gay. Suka, are you there-" Suka? His damn name's Shuichi! "Hey, lady. I don't know who the fuck you think you are saying that. 1, my boyfriend's name is Shuichi, 2, he's not gay, he's bi." Before she has a chance to reply, I hang up. I slowly walk over to Shuichi, who's not moved at all, and is still panicking. Shuichi's phone is blowing up with texts and ignored calls from that pathetic excuse of a mom. "Hey, Shu, it's okay. She's gone." Shuichi looks up, still shaking violently, but not rocking back and forth or muttering anymore. He slowly takes his hands off his head, and winces as he puts his hands on his knees. I take his shaking hands. "Shu, come on, let's get bandages on these or something." He stands up. "No. I don't want or need help."
"Shuichi, I-"
"I said I'm fine."
"Shuichi-"
"God Maki, can't you leave me alone. I'm leaving."
With that Shuichi storms over to the door and puts his hand on the doorknob.
"Fine, I get it, we're damaged. Really damaged. But, Shuichi, that doesn't make us wise. We're not special anymore, we're not different. We never chose who lived or died," I walk towards him, "Let's be normal, go see bad movies. I'll sneak a beer and we'll watch TV. We could bake brownies together or go bowling tomorrow. Shuichi, don't you want a life with me?" He takes his hand off the doorknob wordlessly. "Can't we be 17 for once; that's literally all I want to do. If you'll let me in, I can be good with you and your problems," He turns around, and smiles at me, "People hurt us." He steps forward, still smiling.
"Or they vanish..." he agrees.
"And you're right, that can really blow. But we let go."
"Take a deep breath." he says.
I laugh, "Then we're gonna go buy some summer clothes. We can go camping."
Shuichi wipes the tears from his face, wincing again.
"Play some poker." he laughs
I smile too.
"We'll eat some chilli fries."
"Prom's coming up soon, we could maybe do prom night together." I ask.
"Maybe dancing with you," he adds,
"Please, don't stop looking in my eyes Maki. Why can't we be 17, is it that hard to do? I've let you in, I know you can be good with me like you said."
"Let's be 17, then; if we even still have that right." I say. Shuichi holds my hands, and we get into a dancing position. We start dancing to a song he likes: Seventeen from Heathers. Our first date. I sing along, but the lyrics are much more powerful today. "So, what's it gonna be Shuichi, I wanna be with you tonight?" I add on to the lyrics.
The song ends and we stop dancing.
"Yeah, we're damaged, badly damaged, but your love's way too good to lose." Shuichi sighs.
I nod, "Hold me tighter Shu, even closer."
He turns to the door still holding my hand. "Maki, I'll stay if I'm what you choose, we can be 17 if that's the case. If we've even still got the right, like you said. I'll stay because you're the one I choose. Maki, you're the one I choose, you always will be. You will always be the one I choose, remember that."
I lead Shuichi to the bathroom and wrap his arms. We end up just watching a generic movie together.
I guess we really were seventeen tonight.
YOU ARE READING
SaiMaki Oneshots
FanfictionTWs prefaced Shuichi Saihara and Maki Harukawa did not always get along, and were not always close. But, after everything that they went through, they both deserve a happy ending.
