Married to the Serpent King-A Lakshmila Story

3. Fickle Females and Food-Mania

"Oh, and I forgot to mention," Vishwamitra began, turning around from his perch at the helm of the long boat they were rowing down the river. "That after you undoubtedly defeat Tadaka, Subahu, and all the demons they bring along, that we won't be heading straight back to Ayodhya and your father." 

He raised his hand as Ram went to say something. "You are a dutiful son. Don't worry. I told your father about this, lest he have a cardiac arrest at your disappearance."

"Where will we be going, Guru?" Ram asked, placing his bow down for one second as Lakshman surveyed the surroundings suspiciously. He wasn't suspicious, that's just how he surveyed surroundings. "Are there more demons we have to kill somewhere else?" The sky had, at this point, darkened considerably, and both princes squinted up at it, confused at the rumbling and flashing rain clouds that had suddenly appeared.

"Oh no." Vishwamitra chuckled. Ram stared at him with wide eyes. Vishwamitra tended to not laugh. Like, at all. Ram hadn't even seen him smile that much. "Though there will be, no doubt demons in the place we're going after. Just a different type of demon." Lakshman blinked, looking up in an instant. More demons to kill? How exciting! This was like a whole itinerary for him to peruse! Life was great! Him and Ram bhaiyya, killing demons forever, Ram bhaiyya getting crowned-

"Ah yes. You'll be meeting quite a special form of demon. Females." Vishwamitra said. Ram suppressed a smile and a light blush as Lakshman slumped.

~~~

"Oh my God, oh my god, oh my god, the swayamvar is in three days!" Urmila shouted. She shook poor Shrutakirti's shoulders until they almost fell off. "We need to find a good prince for Sita didi, or else she'll be married off forever to some old man that could claim to be my long lost grandfather without me even questioning him!"

"Oddly specific, but yes." Mandavi agreed, pulling Urmila's self-declared stress ball (Shrutakirti), out of her grasp. "But how? There isn't any prince catalogue or something we can skim." Shrutakirti coughed, delicately sipping (read: chugging down) a goblet of ice cold water, which only made her cough harder, which made Mandavi thump her back, which made her fall over.

"Wait, is she trying to say something?" Urmila wondered, leaning down and lifting Shrutakirti up. "She is trying to say something! Well, Shrutakirti, cough it out!" They waited for Shrutakirti to say something, but she kept coughing. Mandavi put her hands on her hips, and Urmila shook her head. "We're not quite as intelligent as you, Kirti, we do not speak coughing as a second language."

Shrutakirti finally stopped coughing when a servant brought her some warm water, and she glared at her two sisters. "What I was trying to say is that actually, there is." Urmila and Mandavi both stared at her, and she stomped her foot. "Do you guys not remember what we were talking about?" She grasped Mandavi's arm, and began running.

"Hey, hey!" Urmila called out, watching her youngest sister run away. "Shrutakirti, calm down! We can negotiate this! There's no need to kidnap Mandavi for your own gains! Don't resort to a life as a criminal!" Shrutakirti disappeared around the corner, and Urmila sighed. "Oh well. We lost another one to the dark side. You will always be remembered, soldier!" She saluted the empty space before walking away.

~~~

Ten thousand rakshasas later, or so it felt, anyways, Lakshman and Ram were on their way to, well, Lakshman didn't really know where. Guru Vishwamitra had mentioned something about a kingdom, but hadn't even said the kingdom's name. Or maybe he had? Lakshman didn't quite remember. 

All he did remember was that the rakshasas had ambushed them before any further words could be said, and then there was no time for discussing kingdoms, rakshasas, females or otherwise. And all he could think of, right now, was the fact that he was a little exhausted and he would appreciate it very much if they could go home and eat.