Whiskey's Second Chance

27: Bravery

Whiskey POV

It had only been a week since I arrived on the island, and as beautiful as it is, I wish I was home. Not because I missed my brothers, or I wanted to deal with the mess I made, but because I missed Kayla. I miss the way her cheeks redden when my eyes meet hers and a small smile spread across her plump lips. Each time we kiss, it's as though I have never kissed a woman. As cheesy as it sounds, I have never kissed a woman, a true woman, before Kayla. The way she opens up a little every day, just for me, turns me on and makes me want her more. Especially on an intimate level, not just physically.

Talking with Tiger, Killer, or Ace every day only reminded me of the woman I left behind. Kayla didn't text or call for a week and all I could think about was that someone told her what had happened after the meeting. I thought about telling her that night, but with everyone heated, I didn't need another person angry with me; so I left.

Now, I wish I had said something.

I'm staying at an airbnb close to where the wedding would be, but the two-bedroom apartment felt empty. Despite the beautiful ocean view and perfect weather, I wanted to share it all with someone; specifically Kayla. However, I understood why Tiger wanted a destination wedding on an island; it's romantic and meant to be shared with someone special.

Being here alone, without Kayla close by or knowing that she is okay, my nights are restless. The nightmares came back full force and are worse than before. So far, I have only slept a handful of hours each night before the terrors cause me to wake up covered in sweat, reaching for someone who isn't there, and trying to regain control of my breathing. Each time I woke up I instantly reached for my phone, wanting to call the one person who probably didn't want to speak to me, but brings me pace every time I hear her voice. Kayla.

I woke up around 3:30am and couldn't go back to sleep. Knowing there was no way I would get any more sleep tonight, I found my way to the balcony attached to my room and watched the sun rise. There were plenty of things I needed to do, but it was too early and all I could think about was how I would fix things with the woman who makes me happy.

Around 6:30 I walked to the kitchen and checked my emails. I found one from the food supplier who wanted to meet this afternoon, and replied saying I would be there. I made coffee, grabbed a cup before sitting out on the balcony, and dialed the familiar number. 

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

By the fifth one, I was about to hang up, but the ringing stopped, and silence filled the other end of the line. I said nothing, afraid to say the wrong thing, causing her to hang up. But after a while I couldn't stand the silence between us.

"If you could become anything, a dragon, professional ballet dancer, whatever, right now, what would you choose to become?" I asked. The question game became a staple in our conversations, especially when we didn't know what to say.

"Brave," she whispered.

Her answer surprised me, and I didn't know how to reply. I expected a video game streamer, or kick ass bitch, not brave. Kayla exudes confidence, stands up for herself daily, and never shows fear or uncertainty; until now.

"Well, last I checked, you speak your mind, stand up for yourself, and have red hair just like Merida. All you're missing now is a bow and arrow and a horse!" I laughed and Kayla let out a small one, too.

"Do the guys know you watch Disney movies, Whiskey?" she teased.

There she is. That's my Kayla.

"Hey now, I'm telling you this in confidence that you won't tell the others! They don't need to know Tiger may have forced me to watch it with her because I owed her. It'll be our secret. Right?"

The silence on the other end of the line was killing me. Did I say something wrong? I thought I kept it cute and light-hearted...

"You know I'll always keep your secrets, Whiskey. Besides, it's not like I have anyone to talk to over here..." her voice trailed off. I couldn't tell if she was upset, or if someone had walked in, but either way, she was not happy.

"What do you mean? You haven't grown tired of Tiger talking about the wedding or the constant last-minute errands and things? Lord knows I get at least three phone calls a day about it!" I exclaimed.

"Things have been...they've been different since you left. No one seems to want to tell me what's going on, and everyone is stressed, but not about the wedding. So, I've picked up extra shifts at the diner to avoid everything," she confided.

Why did no one tell me that the Devil's Disciples shit was still unresolved? I figured by now Killer and the others had smoothed things over, or at the very least Tiger told Kayla why I left. Every time someone called, it was about the wedding, never the club, and when I pushed for more information, I was told everything was going well. I should have pushed harder for information.

Apologizing, I said, "I'm sorry it's been stressful; I didn't mean to put you in that situation, and I know it's my fault the club is all up in arms." I paused. Her words about not being brave echoed in my head, and I needed to know why she felt that way. "Why do you think you aren't brave?"

A sigh left her lips. "I just- I wanted to call you days ago and ask you everything, but I wasn't brave enough to call. Brave enough to ask you why you left and what you meant when you asked me to wait for you, but I wasn't. Until now. Wait for what? What happened? Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" I quickly answered. "No, you did nothing wrong, love. I promise. After you and Tiger left, Razor and I had an altercation that most likely cost the club the treaty and the agreement between us and the Devil's Disciples. That's why everyone is stressed and why I thought you would walk away from me and the club. I fucked up," I owned up too.

"I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? I could have been helping everyone this last week with fixing this. Razor is an asshole with all talk and no game. Just because the two of you got into it doesn't mean that the treaty would be void," Kayla tried to tell me. But she was wrong. "Also, you leaving wasn't your choice, and even if it was, if you had explained it, I would have understood."

"Kayla-"

"I wish I had been brave enough to ask you to stay. Or ask you why you left so quickly. But mostly, I wish I was brave enough to kiss you when I want and without fear that you don't feel the same way..."

My heart hurt, knowing I left Kayla in the diner upset and wanting something I wanted as well. She felt as though she wasn't brave, but truthfully, neither was I at that moment. As a result, we were both left feeling unwanted and hurt.

"Listen to me Kayla, I never want you to think I don't want you or to be with you. I want to kiss you every time you walk into a room, or when your eyes meet mine and that beautiful smile sweeps over your face. But I don't want to go too fast and scare you away..." I admitted.

"You don't scare me, Whiskey. I doubt you ever could."

Little does she know I scare myself most days. The nightmares have lessened since Kayla arrived and I find myself thinking more and more about her, instead of my haunting past. However, since I left, the nightmares have slowly crept back in and my mind drifts off, even if for only a few moments.

"Well, in that case, Miss Kayla, how about you call me whenever your heart desires? I don't care if it's the middle of the night, and you're at work alone and just want to talk. Or someone is pissing you off and withholding information, call me. I'll be there. I promise," I stressed, hoping she would follow through and call.

"Thank you," she whispered out.

"Anytime, love. As much as I would love to sit and talk to you all day, I have to go meet the food supplier, and you need to go to work...or sleep. Whichever you're doing," I laughed. She laughed and agreed to call me later before saying goodbye.

Looking at the ocean, I smiled to myself and knew that today would be a good day, and I could wait for my conversation with Kayla later tonight.

Maybe being sent to these islands early isn't punishment after all; maybe they're just what I need. Rest, relax, and focus on Kayla...and the wedding.